Serial cheat hubby’s done it again, this time with my pal

Dear Coleen

MY husband is a serial cheater. He’s had several affairs over the years but I’ve always taken him back for reasons that are too complicated to go into.

However, the last time he had an affair, I told him I wouldn’t take him back again. I’m in my 40s now and, quite frankly, feel too old to put up with these games, plus we have two kids who are now old enough to understand what’s going on and I don’t think I can hide things from them any more.

Now, though, I’ve discovered he’s been seeing a friend of mine. She’s not a close friend, more of an acquaintance, but it hurts nevertheless. When I found out, I emailed her and told her I knew, but she didn’t reply, which made me even more angry.

She didn’t even have the decency to apologise or make any attempt to explain herself. She has a long-term partner, but no children, and I’m sorely tempted to tell him. The only thing that’s stopping me is the thought of sinking to that level and feeling bad about myself afterwards.

What would you do? I’m absolutely at the end of my tether.

Coleen says

WELL, you’ve given him more than enough chances and I think most people would have thrown in the towel years ago. This situation must be crushing for your self-esteem, so I hope this is a tipping point and that you have the confidence to think about making a life on your own with your kids. I think some people are addicted to the thrill of affairs and those people rarely change.

In terms of your so-called friend. I’m sure she’s frightened of your reaction, so she’s taking the coward’s way out and ghosting you. You’ve told her you know and possibly what you think of her, so I’d leave it there for your own wellbeing. Don’t waste any more of your time on her and upsetting yourself further with confrontations.

As far as her partner goes, maybe he already knows or maybe she’ll tell him herself. I imagine you’d be telling him out of revenge, but be prepared that he might not thank you for this news or even believe you.

It has to be your decision – you don’t owe this woman anything – but I guess you should ask yourself if it’s going to make you feel any better about the situation and judge it by that.

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I’m tempted to tell all to this woman’s partner...