BOJO’S WAFFLE BAFFLES BOSSES
Moses, Peppa Pig, Lenin & car noises feature in PM’s bizarre speech to CBI
BORIS Johnson lost the plot during a speech to Britain’s business leaders yesterday and compared himself with Moses while praising the power of kids’ cartoon favourite Peppa Pig.
Delegates from some of the UK’s biggest firms at the Confederation of British Industry were stunned as the Prime Minister delivered his most bewildering speech to date.
Johnson referred to himself in the third person when he praised “the vision” of the former London mayor and made references to Vladimir Lenin and Moses as he lost his place on what was meant to be a speech on green policies.
In an excruciating 20-minute address, the PM went off piste with “vroom, vroom, rah, rah” impersonations of an accelerating car and spent three minutes hailing a family trip to Peppa Pig World.
He lost his place in pages of his speech, spending 20 seconds rifling through notes, muttering “forgive me” three times and “blast it”.
Business leaders in the tent appeared unsure how to react when he then went into a lengthy passage about Peppa Pig World.
He demanded to know why business leaders in South Shields had not visited the children’s attraction 330 miles away in Hampshire which he had been to on Sunday.
He said: “Yesterday I went, as we all must, to Peppa Pig World.
“I don’t know if you’ve been to Peppa Pig world, who’s been, hands up anyone who’s been to Peppa Pig World? Not enough.”
He added: “I loved it and Peppa Pig World is very much my kind of place. It has very safe streets, err… discipline in schools, heavy emphasis on new mass transit systems, even if they’re a bit stereotypical about Daddy Pig.”
Praising the character as an example of British innovation, he continued: “Who would have believed a pig that looks like a hairdryer or possibly a Picasso-like hairdryer, a pig that was rejected by the BBC, would now be exported to 180 countries with theme parks both in America and China?”
Following the speech, Johnson was asked: “Is everything OK?”
He told ITV: “I think that people got the vast majority of the points I wanted to make and I thought it went over well.”
Shadow Chancellor Rachel Reeves said: “The Prime Minister’s shambolic speech not only shows how unseriously he takes British business but also how his government lacks any plan for growth or to propel our enterprising nations forward.
“No one was laughing, because the joke’s not funny anymore.”
Trade union leader Manuel Cortes, of the TSSA, said: “Even the business bosses have now had enough of this rambling shambles of a Prime Minister, who lacks the vision our country so desperately needs. The CBI’s reaction to his claims about rail in the North of England, in the face of broken promises, says it all. No one is buying Johnson’s nonsense anymore.
“Frankly, Johnson appears to be delusional. The sooner this charlatan leaves office, the quicker we can get on with dealing with the reality of the difficult challenges that we face, from climate change to the pandemic. However, he’s right to raise Peppa Pig in one sense – she would be far more effective in Downing Street.”