GIRLFRIEND’S ONE-NIGHT STAND IS BACK

Dear Coleen

I’VE been with my girlfriend for a couple of years and things are good. However, in our early days she slept with a colleague and we split up for a few weeks.

She admitted what happened and explained that she wasn’t sure about us as the relationship was new but it made her realise she wanted me. So, we moved on and it’s all been going well, in fact we’re now living together.

My problem is, this other guy has started working with her again. She’s been upfront about it and isn’t trying to hide anything but I can’t help worrying.

I don’t have anything against him – he didn’t know we were together when they had their one-night stand – but he’s fit and charming and I can’t help feeling like I’m second best.

Have you any advice?

Coleen says

YOU’RE not second best – she chose you but I think how you’re feeling is completely normal. The good thing is, she was honest with you about the one-night stand and she’s being honest with you now, so I think you should trust her.

You can say, “If you choose to sleep with him again, there will be no coming back from it in terms of our relationship.”

The difference now is that you’ve been together a couple of years, you have a proper relationship, you’re living together and you’re much more committed.

She’d be risking an awful lot by jumping into bed with her colleague and if she messes up again, she is going to lose a great guy.

She’s not trying to hide anything from you, so have confidence in yourself, don’t constantly question her or talk about him, thereby making it into something bigger than it is.