DREADING XMAS WITH DAUGHTER-IN-LAW

MY son, his wife and their daughter are coming to stay with my husband and me this Christmas – and I’m already dreading it.

Of course I’m looking forward to seeing our granddaughter, but I really don’t get on with my daughter-in-law and feel very uncomfortable in her presence.

She’s quite snobbish and I have always felt she looks down her nose at me.

I know that sounds paranoid, but I’ve tried to get to know her better and it’s never worked.

She’s quite a cold person and hard to work out, and always goes on about how great her mum is and how fantastic her family is, which just makes me feel even more inadequate. What can I do to make things easier this year?

YOU are good enough as you are and you shouldn’t have to change your personality to fit in with anyone else.

Yes, sometimes we all have to compromise a bit (and bite our tongue) in certain situations, but you shouldn’t feel you have to justify yourself.

It’s tricky when you don’t get on with your child’s partner – it’s not a given that you’re going to like each other – but I wonder if you’ve spoken to your son about how you feel? He might not have a clue and I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable, especially when you’re hosting them in your home. Maybe he’ll be able to reassure you or have some insight into her behaviour.

I was very different in personality to my first motherin-law, but we actually ended up becoming friends and were eventually able to accept each other’s differences.

Try not to blow this up in your mind and remember that your son is happy and you have a lovely granddaughter. Maybe you just need to accept your daughter-in-law for who she is and not expect too much from her in terms of friendship.