I love boyfriend but I’m having a fling with boss
Dear Coleen
I’VE been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend for two years – I’m 23 and he’s 25. I’m currently studying accountancy and I also work in a bar part-time to earn money.
We’ve started closing the bar early in the evenings because of Covid and the staff usually stay behind afterwards to have a couple of drinks before going home. For a while, it was just my boss (who’s 29) and me who stayed for a drink, and we ended up sleeping together. The sex was amazing and now it’s become a regular thing.
I don’t know what to do because I love my boyfriend but I’m really enjoying the sex with my boss. It’s frustrating because my boyfriend tends to work a lot, so I don’t see him as much as I’d like to.
My boss and I realise it’s not possible for us to be together as a couple but I don’t like the idea of cheating on my boyfriend either. Can you help? I’m feeling very confused.
Coleen says
WELL, first things first – you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. You’re obviously starting to realise that because you feel guilty.
How can you say you’re in a loving relationship when you can cheat so easily on your boyfriend? Perhaps at 23 you’re just not ready for a serious commitment?
If that’s the case, then you need to admit that to yourself and tell your boyfriend. But don’t sleep with this guy behind his back – think about how you’d feel if he were cheating on you with someone else. You’d be heartbroken.
You don’t say if your boss is single but you’re not and you have a lot to lose by continuing this affair. I think you need to think carefully about what you want – if it’s your boyfriend, then end this thing with your boss now and look at how you can see more of him instead.
If you don’t think you’re ready for an exclusive relationship, then tell him that. You don’t have to admit you’ve been sleeping with someone else.
Also, I’m not sure it was the smartest move to sleep with your boss – things could be awkward if you end the affair and still have to work together.
But I think you have to make a decision because the longer this sexual affair goes on, the more chance there is of your boyfriend finding out and then you’ll have to deal with the fallout. It’s better to be in control of the situation.
We realise it can’t continue but the sex is amazing
Then Gerry took you under his wing when you were 16?
He took me on tour travelling the UK and Europe. He became like a big brother to me, showing me the ropes of the music game. I’ve learned a lot about songwriting from him and what it means to say it from the heart.
What does he mean to you and Scottish music?
His success breaks down the myth that you need
this big machine behind you. I supported him at Oran Mor and four years later supported him on an arena tour. He’s shown everybody that you can do it on your own terms. The amount of graft you put in correlates directly to where you end up.
You also supported Liam. Were Oasis a big thing for you?
I was speechless when my manager told me Liam had asked me to tour with him – I’d listened to his tunes for that long. I don’t think I‘ve even really taken it in yet. For about three months before lockdown, I was on tour with Gerry, then Liam and then went back to tour with Gerry again. It was bizarre.
How does it feel to be playing the Barras in April, especially now it’s sold out?
The Barras has always been a part of our lives. From getting our PlayStation games at the market to kicking about in the guitar shops along the road and pestering them for a shot of the £2000 guitars when we were 12 years old dressed in Carbrini trackies. The Barras has always been there for me, those lights are ingrained in my mind. So it was a weird feeling when we put the tickets on, then for it to sell out is beyond my wildest dreams – I mean it’s the Barras.
Dylan’s self-titled EP is out now. Keep in touch at www.dylan johnthomas.com