PARENTS STILL FAWN OVER MY HATED EX

Dear Coleen

MY HUSBAND left our marriage a few months ago and we have two children together aged four and seven. I’ve come to terms with it, but still hate him for walking out with barely any explanation.

He’s always been selfish and I think he now wants to do his own thing without the stress or responsibility of a family in tow.

He still sees the children, but I’ve been doing the lion’s share of the childcare.

My main problem is that my parents are still really nice to him – it’s as if they haven’t grasped that he walked out on me, or they feel I’m somehow to blame for what happened.

At Christmas, he came to my parents’ house to have lunch with the children and my mum was fawning over him so much it made me feel sick. I feel so unsupported and I’d love some advice from you.

Coleen says

I UNDERSTAND that feeling when you’ve been badly hurt by someone – you want everyone else to hate them, too, because you feel so angry and let down.

OK, giving your parents the benefit of the doubt here, maybe they found the situation awkward and just wanted to keep things as nice and as normal for the kids as possible. Maybe they’re also hoping you might get back together.

I’m sure your parents don’t blame you for what happened at all but, if you’re feeling unsupported, maybe you need to talk to them a bit more about how tough you’re finding it.

Also, your ex was invited to their home so he could see the kids at Christmas, so maybe your mum was going over the top to make sure the day went well. You can’t invite him over and then start an argument.

The important thing is, the kids had a good day with both their parents at the table, so I’d try to focus on that.