HUBBY DEPRESSED SINCE BIRTH OF BABY

I HAD my first baby a few months ago. It’s been full on – a huge shock to the system if I’m honest. However, my husband and I both cherish our daughter and love her very much.

My problem is he’s struggling to cope and the other night admitted he’s been feeling stressed and depressed since our daughter came along.

I was very upset to hear this, but I’m glad he admitted it. I’m just not sure how to help him because I need his support with the baby. Is this a thing with men and do you have any advice?

Coleen says

I DON’T think people acknowledge what a massive life change this is for the father, too, even though they are not experiencing the hormonal changes post-birth. It’s good he’s admitted it and the important thing is to keep being open with each other and try hard to find some time for you as a couple.

We all know having a child is the most wonderful thing but it changes your life in many ways and it’s a huge responsibility – you have to put this baby before everything and it can be a big adjustment. There might also be a little bit of jealousy there without him even realising it because you’re so focused on the baby.

What’s nice is that you’re not saying to me: “I’m the one who went through childbirth, so what’s he got to complain about?” You’re able to listen to him and not take it personally, so as a couple I think you’ve got all the right qualities to get over this bump in the road.

Also, don’t be scared to ask for professional help – doctors, health visitors and counsellors will understand.

There’s no tiredness that comes close to being a new parent and when you’re exhausted, worries and fears do get blown out of proportion.

What I can promise is it does get easier, especially if you can find a routine that allows you to have some time together.