Shocked to discover the guy I slept with is only 20
Dear Coleen
I’M 35 and a single mum of one son. A couple of months ago, I started a new job and hit it off straightaway with a guy I work with.
I figured he was younger than me but our ages never really came up in conversation.
He seemed really mature – much more so than my ex, who’s 40 and a huge baby. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I ended up in bed with my colleague after a night out.
The sex was great – amazing, actually – but the next morning we were chatting in bed and he admitted that he was only 20.
I’d assumed he was about 28, so still an age gap but not a huge one. He seemed a bit embarrassed and said he felt bad that he hadn’t mentioned it before.
I feel so disappointed because I can feel myself falling for him, but just don’t see where this can go as he’s so young.
Coming out of a bad relationship, I don’t want to get into something that can’t go anywhere. He’s the first guy I’ve really liked since splitting with my ex.
Please help.
I KNOW a few couples with a 15-year age gap, although they met when they were both older.
Yes, your guy is young but I guess it comes down to your mindset and what you’re looking for in your life at the moment.
If you’re looking for a life partner and don’t think he’s ready for that – and let’s face it, who is at 20? – there’s no point in pursuing it.
Equally, there’s nothing wrong with living for the moment and enjoying this while it lasts, which might only be a month where you have a lot of fun, or it might turn into something else in time.
Maybe the thing to do is not to think too deeply about whether it can work but enjoy it and take each day as it comes.
It doesn’t sound as if there are any other contenders for boyfriend at the moment.
This relationship could also be the bridge to get over your last relationship and find the right one in time. So long as you’re honest with each other about what you want from the relationship, I don’t see what the problem is.