Cheat husband left me for my best pal
Dear Coleen
A COUPLE of weeks ago, my husband came home from work and told me he was leaving me, just as I was getting the kids’ sausages out of the oven. And the woman he’s leaving me for is one of my closest friends, whom I’ve known for years. She’s also married and has one child. When he told me, I was too shocked to even get angry – I never saw any signs of an affair from either of them.
My husband has moved out and she’s told her husband, who’s left their home, and they’re planning to find somewhere to move in together.
I feel sick every day, thinking of all the times she’s been over to my house, drinking my coffee and eating my food, while sleeping with my husband. I’m still trying to process all of this and I haven’t told anyone, apart from one of the mums at my children’s school, as she doesn’t know my husband or the other woman.
My immediate problem is that my younger sister is getting married in two weeks, and my husband and my so-called friend are still planning to go, despite what’s happened.
This woman was a good friend of my sister’s, too, so she and her family were invited. How do I get through this, having to see them there together?
Coleen says
YOU don’t. The answer is to tell your sister, and everyone else close to you, what’s happened. I’m sure your ex and your mate will be very swiftly uninvited.
I’m actually really shocked they’d have the nerve to turn up and drink champagne with your family like nothing’s happened. It’s like ripping your heart out isn’t enough for them – they have to rub your nose in their affair, too!
Why are you protecting them? You need your family and friends for support, and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
The only people you need to protect and be sensitive around are your kids.
It’s hard enough to get over a betrayal by a partner, but when it’s a double betrayal involving a close friend, then it’s devastating. Make sure they both understand what they’ve done. Make it clear you’re not going to just cave in and allow them to ignore the consequences.
It’s going to hurt for a while, but don’t be alone with your pain – and stop protecting them. Go to the wedding on your own with your kids and be among your family and friends. And then start rebuilding something better for yourself.