BITTER WIFE RESENTS ME FOR DOING WELL
MY WIFE and I went through a tough time financially a few years ago and it put a lot of strain on our marriage.
She left her job to work freelance after having our daughter, so I became the main breadwinner only to be made redundant and then struggle to find another job.
Somehow, we got through it and I’m now doing well, earning a pretty good wage and paying off my debts.
The thing is, my wife seems to resent me for it instead of being happy for me and relieved that we’re in a better situation.
I don’t know where this is all coming from to be honest. She’s constantly planning how to spend my wages and says things like: “Well, I deserve this after
Coleen says
WELL, it sounds like she’s holding on to a lot of resentment after leaving her job and then suffering financially when you lost yours. She’s blaming you for what happened, although not in so many words, even though being made redundant wasn’t your fault.
Financial stress puts huge pressure on relationships and money is also really hard to talk about, which is probably why she’s making these comments instead of actually having an open and honest conversation.
However, I think you have to tell her how she’s making you feel in order for you both to move on positively. There might also be some envy on her part. Maybe she wishes she hadn’t given up her job and resents you for having the opportunity to do well in your career.
But if that’s true, she needs to admit it and do something about it.
To the woman living with a mummy’s boy – trying to change his mum’s behaviour won’t work (Dear Coleen, May 19).
He lacks confidence and is now using you as a surrogate mother and emotional crutch.
Give serious thought to whether you want to continue with the relationship and good luck with making the decision! AS, via email