I’VE NEVER MET ANYONE I WANT TO DATE

Dear Coleen

I’M a woman in my mid-20s and I’ve never met a guy I’ve actually wanted to go out with. I’m starting to get desperately worried that there might be something wrong with me.

There have been guys who have been interested in me, but none of them have been right – either looks or personality didn’t fit my idea of “boyfriend material”. My friends say I’m too fussy and overthink it, but I don’t want to settle for just anyone. Can you help?

Coleen says

DATING isn’t a science and I’m not sure you know what it is exactly that you do want in a partner because you’re not giving yourself the chance to find out.

You have to get to know people a bit before deciding they’re not right.

If I’d hung on for my “ideal man” to walk into my life (6ft 2in with dark hair and blue eyes), I’d still be waiting.

When the right person comes along, what you’ll find attractive is the whole package – his sense of humour, the way he laughs, his ideas about life, the fact that he’s kind and smart.

Of course it’s not bad to want to find someone really special.

But you might miss out on him because you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to engage with people.

In response to the woman who’s worried her sister is dating again too soon after her husband’s death, please don’t judge her for trying to enjoy her life again (Dear Coleen, May 30).

As Coleen says, this relationship may not go the distance, but it may help her to move forward.

When my husband died after a long illness, I’d already done a lot of my grieving and I wanted to start living properly again after so many years of being his carer.

Annette, via email