Billy the kidder still Yin control
A MAGICAL moment at the National TV Awards – just the one – as Billy Connolly copped a Special Recognition gong.
“This is the greatest laxative I’ve ever known,” the Big Yin told the O2 throng.
“I’d like to thank the Catholic Church for the rhythm method of birth control, without which I wouldn’t be here.”
He is 73 and has Parkinson’s but Billy is still the funniest man alive.
Earlier, Peter Kay dedicated his own award to Connolly but kept the statuette. Billy branded him “cheapo” and “a bastard”, adding “limelight grabber” when Kay ran up to hand it over.
It was an oasis of laughter in an over-long, largely wrong and generally dull ceremony; wrong because it forgot last year’s best shows, Fargo and Catastrophe, and completely snubbed Idris Elba. Who do Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, 10 Lower Thames Street,
London EC3R 6EN they think they are, the Oscars? TV execs decide the categories and who we can vote for.
And they reckoned our top dramas were the widelypanned Broadchurch 2, the v i e wer- haemor r haging Doctor Who, snoozy old Casualty and the dullest-ever series of Downton.
The NTAs were launched in 1995 as a way of honouring shows that viewers love and Bafta snubs.
But they have lost their point. The night has become as depressingly predictable as Cameron’s EU fudge.
EastEnders scooped Top Soap for dragging out Who Cares Who Killed Lucy? longer than the Greek bailout.
“I am so honoured to be part of such a sublime, depressing programme,” quipped Danny Dyer, winning the pompously named best Serial Drama Performance (top soap actor).
Dyer is terrific but surely Corrie’s Alison King deserved it more?
The Challenge pitted survivalists category
against cake makers. Shayne Ward, X Factor winner in 2005, was Best Newcomer.
And Ant & Dec surprisingly scooped the Ant & Dec Award for the 15th year running.
The tightest category was New Drama with four strong contenders. Suranne Jones’ psycho Doctor Foster rightly won.
Peter Kay’s endearing Car Share romped home in a weak Comedy field. But Kay clearly hadn’t bothered thinking about an acceptance speech.
Referring to BGT’s Matisse, who was funnier on the night, Peter lamely quipped “could have done some dogging”. He then threw in a chronic knock-knock gag.
Rest easy, Billy. The comedy crown is safe in your hands. 10,000BC asks if modern folk can live a Mesolithic hunter-gatherer lifestyle. To which the simple answer is no, of course not.
Last year, C5 Elf & Safety evacuated the camp after some light snow. This year they filmed in summer and added competition. It’s now 10,000BC: Two Tribes. Tribe One had a whingeing cop who quickly quit and a chunky gospel singer who wept ’cos she hated Stone Age clobber (or
maybe she realised she’d be first in the pot in the event of famine).
Tribe Two has pub landlord John and gung-ho nitwit Ahmad, possibly there to symbolise the survival of the thickest. We’ve already seen naked fishing, bringing new meaning to “I’m getting a nibble”, a dehydrated teenager and a wild boar eaten – not to be confused with Jay, a mild bore destined for beating.
As Frankie foretold, two tribes generally go to war. But there’s a whiff of Corbyn about Tribe One’s Suzanne. Maybe she’ll confront Johnny Come Lately with bows
and no arrows. THE Rack Pack – snooker loopy (iPlayer)…Stan Lee’s Lucky Man (Sky1)… Lemmy Night, right (BBC4). CRASHING – yawning …Phone Shop Idol – wrong number… Beowulf – be-o-have… Mr Selfridge, left – no sale…Redtop – satirical flop, totally bereft of bite, wit and insight. I COULDN’T see the point of Lip Sync Battle UK. It’s people miming! Why should we care? They haven’t even used professionals like Cheryl… Then Michelle Keegan came on in skintight leathers singing Sex On Fire and I struggled to see any problem with it at all. Great lip action. SEX On Fire? Friction burns, Mr Wright? DID they skip Charlie Slater’s funeral scenes on EastEnders because they couldn’t book the other Slater sisters or ’cos they couldn’t find six blokes strong enough to carry the coffin? TV questions: What if Stacey Slater isn’t mad? How does Piers Morgan cope with all those self-inflicted love bites? Are Izzy Bisu’s middle names “Wizzy Let’s-Get”? Will Sam-Cam follow her husband’s EU lead and make a massive pig’s ear on Bake Off?