Garnett remake bad for your Alf
WHY re-make classic sitcoms? The idea stinks like Mrs Slocombe’s disinterred pussy. Not to mention her cat. Alf Garnett without the offence is like The Sweeney without blaggers or Newsnight without Paxman.
Johnny Speight created the character specifically to send-up bigotry.
So who was the BBC’s lame reboot aimed at? For old fans, Simon Day’s Alf wasn’t a patch on Warren Mitchell’s raging comic monster.
And it’s hard to believe young viewers would relate to a time when people relied on phone boxes and left dinners in the oven.
It would’ve been smarter to update the show – I still have the script Johnny wrote about Alf ’s grandson – but today’s Beeb would run a mile from comedy with un-PC views on Islamism, gender fluidity and so on.
Patricia Routledge called the Corporation “desperate” for reviving old shows. Yes, and deluded if they thought they could come close to the brilliance of the classics they were desecrating.
It’s also an admission of failure. They’re resurrecting past glories because for the last 20 years they’ve had the hit rate of a blindfold sniper with cramp. The irony is they still don’t get why.
Are You Being Served? was comedy karaoke, with Jason Watkins putting in a toe-curling parody of Mr Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, 10 Lower Thames Street, London EC3R 6EN Humphries. The script was desperate, light on plot and heavy on unsubtle innuendoes. Recycled catchphrases got the big laughs.
Mrs Slocombe’s pussy came just 12 minutes in (and again and again) – with the first “I’m free” five minutes later.
Porridge was better. No one will ever touch Ronnie Barker’s Fletch, but Kevin Bishop did a decent job as his grandson, even if the script by the show’s genius creators Clement and La Frenais felt reined in.
But if it’s not as good as the original, why bother? It’d make more sense to re-launch Comedy Playhouse to showcase brand new shows.
Not box-ticking exercises like Citizen Khan and Boy Meets Girl but comedies commissioned on merit alone.
Most sitcom classics were scripted by working-class writers and played by topdrawer actors. Crucially, the very best had a core of truth.
Del Boy, Harold Steptoe and Victor Meldrew felt real. We knew their lives and shared their dreams.
They were tragicomedies that leavened the laughter with sadness. Today’s biggest sitcom tragedy is that we’ve forgotten how to make them.
THE past flops they should have learned from: Paul Merton as Tony Hancock (1996). Ant & Dec, the Likely Lads (2002). Shane Richie, Arthur Daley (2009). THE Night Of (SkyAt) & Sofia Black-D’Elia (right) – stunning…Alex Hales…Jay Leno’s Garage (Dave). VICTORIA – we are not amused…Joe Wicks: The Body Coach (left) – more tosh than bosh… Think Tank…Celebrity Home Secrets – Through the Keyhole goes down the plughole. WHO watches dull, plodding DCI Banks? People who find Vera too racy? It’s the Banks even Corbyn wouldn’t nationalise. ONE a character cursed with bad luck, the other is from Pokémon. ISN’T 16 a bit late for sex talks on EastEnders? Most are on their second kid by then. By 18 Roxy’s wotsits had entertained more strangers than a seaman’s mission. IF all TV shows were naked, by popular demand Loose Women would be filmed in the dark. CORRIE’S half-cocked strike would have appalled Red Ida Clough. There was a woman who knew how to down tools. She’s working in ITV continuity now…