PARENTS’ GRIEF FOR TOT HANGED BY HEADBAND
THE parents of a girl who accidentally hanged herself are sharing their story in a book to help other grieving families.
On New Year’s Day nine years ago, four-year-old Paige was found by her dad hanging from the headband she had been given for Christmas.
It was tied to a hammock used to store teddies in her bedroom.
Her parents believe she had been copying AMY-CLARE MARTIN a cartoon in which a character swings from a rope. Paramedics could not save the “little princess”.
Now, nearly a decade after Paige’s death, her devastated parents Phil and Lou have decided to share the story of their grief.
Phil, 42, said: “Every time we hear a story where a young child has died in an accident it’s like our blood runs cold and we think about what the family are going
through. The pain lasts for years and it’s so hard to get out of that downward spiral. Lou was desperate to find a book which would help her with her grief, but couldn’t find one.
“That’s why we decided to do this. If it helps one other family then it’s worth it.”
Lou, whose full name is Lorraine, struggled to come to terms with her loss so much she continued to read Paige a bedtime story for a long time after her death.
Phil, who works for a vending machine company, still suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and has flashbacks of the sight of little Paige entangled in the purple headband.
But the couple, of Hawkinge, Kent, want others to know there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Lou, 36, who is now training as a counsellor, said: “We want to help other people and give them hope through the grieving process and help them stay together.
“About 98% of people who lose a child split up. If you work as team and listen to each other you can try to understand each other’s grief.” The day she died, Paige spent the morning looking at wedding dresses with her mum. Her parents had celebrated New Year by setting a date for their marriage after two years of engagement.
In the book, Phil recalled the moment he went upstairs to fetch the four-year-old, only to find her unconscious. He wrote: “Everything went into slow motion. Paige was hanging by the neck by the hairband, which was still suspended by the hammock that was full of teddy bears. Her feet were slightly off the floor.
“I lifted her down as quick as I could. I laid her on the floor and screamed as loud as I could for Lou to call the ambulance.”
Lou recalled: “My heart felt like it had been ripped out. I felt completely dead inside.”
She added: “I want to die too. I need her back. Please let me tell her how much I love her and that I’m so sorry.”
Now married with Paige’s brother Kailun, 11, and their daughter Alexia, eight, they hope to find a publisher to help them share their experience. Phil added: “Lou was so desperate for a book which would help. We just want something to say that this is where we were, but this is where we are now, and explain how you can find a way through it.”