Crown Claire’s Bafta shafting
THE Baftas were so dull, safe and backward-looking they made the election campaign seem almost exciting.
Old faces hoovered up the gongs – Attenborough, Coogan, Ant & Dec, Michael McIntyre, Panorama...
Magnificent as some of them are, it did seem a bit “yesterday”, especially when 2016 had seen so many terrific new shows.
It was absurd The Crown won nothing. Claire Foy in particular was robbed.
Even Sarah Lancashire, who beat her, seemed shocked.
It was as if the pro-Beeb Bafta were burying their heads ostrich-style in the sands of Radio Times to blot out the threat from Netflix and co.
Gems like Stranger Things, Line of Duty and The Night Manager missed out too, as did Peaky Blinders, Deutschland 83 and the cracking Cold Feet revival.
Yet the lightweight escapism of The Durrells was in the running for Best Drama. Yeah! Take that Game of Thrones! Keep your high-end steak, we’ve got marshmallows!
Some decisions were perverse; others reflected the desperate state of TV entertainment. How did Claudia Winkleman, specialist skill squinting at the autocue, THREE Girls was harrowing. The BBC drama told the sickening true story of the Rochdale child grooming scandal.
Holly, 15, was lured into the web of adult abusers who gave her kebabs, vodka and fags and took payment in gang rape, sodomy and abuse.
When sexual health worker Sara Rowbotham blew the whistle, Holly’s pal Amber was arrested for inciting girls into prostitution.
It took Greater Manchester Plod two years to target the perpetrators. We know why. The girls were working class and white. Their abusers were “British Asians” – actually almost entirely Pakistani Muslims. No-one dared mention this in case it led to “thoughtcrime”.
Just as fear of appearing “racist” neutered the authorities, so fear of “Islamophobia” prevented BBC One telling the full story.
There were 1,400 victims. Police, social workers and councillors betrayed them all. Sara got sacked. She should have been knighted. Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, 10 Lower Thames Street, London EC3R 6EN end up on the shortlist for “Entertainment Performance”?
Adam Hills is better at toeing C4’s righton party line than generating bellylaughs.
And if Charlie Brooker’s snarky middle class sneering is really the pinnacle of TV humour, isn’t it time every comedy commissioner in the country fell on their sword?
There were richly deserved wins for the stunning Planet Earth II, filthy Phoebe Waller-Bridge, People Just Do Nothing, Adeel Akthar and Danny Dyer’s right royal revelations.
But even the Must See Moment shortlist was questionable – Ed Balls dancing Gangnam Style, as opposed to Ed nearly dropping Katya? Why? That was the funniest lift incident since Solange and Jay Z.
As for Sue Perkins, in a double act with Syd Little she’d be the straight man.
The ability to shout “Bake!” in a variety of silly voices doesn’t make you a comedian...as Sue proved with an opening monologue that managed to be as smug as it was laugh-free.
These awards are supposed to celebrate the very best of modern TV. So why book sour-faced Sue, associated with abysmal axed flops like Don’t Scare the Hare and Heading Out, to host them? MOLLY Windsor, right, Three Girls...Little Boy Blue...Ian McElhinney – Redwater’s saving grace. SUE Perkins? Somebody should... Francesco Gabbani & his Eurovision gorilla – monkey nuts...Kat & Alfie: Redwater – Ballykisscobblers. THE infuriating decline of Prison Break – the writers want locking up. Jeremy Vine. Corrie’s “naming ceremony”. Marks & Spencer using Bowie’s Rebel Rebel in their latest ad – what’s remotely rebellious about M&S? WHO does Dara most remind you of? Mr Blobby, Uncle Fester or Gru from Despicable Me? A genie, I reckon. If you rub his head do you get three wishes? THERE’S more meat in Arca’s thong than there was in ITV’s Leaders’ Debate. We’re definitely talking more plum time than prime time. In fairness though it could’ve made a really bitchy edition of Your Face or Mine.