Diamond Daliso’s a cheeky Chap
LES has made Billy Mitchell a full partner on EastEnders. Wait till Billy hears about the board meeting. “I’ve got Christine here, Mr Mitchell, and she’s insisting on seeing a Wilma...” Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, 10 Lower Thames Street, London EC3R 6EN FRIDAY night and two desperate duds are struggling to win over the watching millions.
Away from Question Time, though, one Britain’s Got Talent act smashes it straight out of the park.
Step forward comedian Daliso Chaponda, inset, from Malawi – the place “where Madonna adopted all the babies”, he says, adding: “I miss my little brother... “Angelina took my sister.” As a black man on stage, he joked: “200 years ago this would have been an auction.” Ouch!
Matt Edwards, left, is the show’s great find. He looks like Jim Carrey crossed with Robbie Williams and combines the fidgety energy of Lee Evans with the daft magic of Joe Pasquale.
But the real stand-out performance came from Amanda’s nipples. It says something when Holden’s peanut-smuggling generates more press than the acts.
It certainly overshadowed the scandal of TanBA and others being quietly dropped for unconvincing reasons.
And the irritation of David’s “judging”. If a bloke had come on stage and taken a dump in a bucket, as long as he was wearing mascara Walliams would “absolutely love it”.
Some acts shouldn’t have passed their auditions, let alone reached the semis. Dizzy Twilight? The Hoop Guy? That balloontwister? Strewth. Jay Wynn lumbered out in a robot suit and just stood there singing Feeling Good, like Michael Bublé with laryngitis. It was like seeing a Transformer morph into a clapped-out Skoda.
If he’d dressed up as Iron Man and belted out Barry Manilow songs (Iron Manilow!), now that would’ve been worth seeing... Niels Harder’s camp magic act was more slight of mind than sleight of hand. And don’t get me started on that choir changing the words of English anthem Jerusalem.
As for the kids, am I the only one wondering if they’re fulfilling their own dreams or their parents’ ones? Ned did well with the gags dad Liam wrote for him. But they made him sound more like a cynical adult than a cheeky nine-year-old.
Issy, eight, has real star potential but her talents would be better nurtured away from the hothouse of overnight fame.
Too much too young can be just as disastrous as too little too late.
As usual, singers, dancers and musicians dominated this series. Yet the public largely backed other kinds of performers.
It was heartening to see mind-readers, magicians, mimics and knife-throwing maniacs go down well.
Even in this age of talentless “reality” TV, people still crave skilled entertainers. FARGO & Mary Elizabeth Winstead...Kevin Spacey, House of Cards, right (Netflix)...The Handmaid’s Tale. PAULA – appalling... Redwater – dead in water...Paul Hollywood’s Big Continental Road Trip, left – flop gear... The Kennedys: Decline & Fall – just decline.