No fun in house full of nobodies
THE Handmaid’s Tale was set in a USA where female fertility rates have dropped faster than Love Island underwear.
A puritanical cult seized power, women were banned from working and fruitful ones were forced to become broodmares.
Cue some of the most joyless bedroom scenes this side of Dot Branning’s honeymoon.
Commander Fred raped heroine Offred (June) regularly, with her head resting between his barren wife’s thighs, often while quoting the bible. Boo hiss the horrible Christians…
In the finale, Ofwarren (Janine) faced death by stoning.
It was decent fantasy drama, sort of Brave New World with wimples. But it wasn’t, as some hysterical feminists claimed, a terrifying picture of what the US might become under Trump, more how life might look under Sharia.
Women kept down with 17th century zeal…enforced uniforms… rigid gender divides…FGM. Stonings have occurred this decade in Somalia, Iraq and Pakistan, but never New England.
Isn’t it dramatic cowardice to play “What if?” games while turning a blind eye to “What is” actually happening?
A way of hammering Western men, and Christianity, while ignoring the noxious reality of fanatical regimes around the world. BEN Shephard was talking about coins on Tipping Point when he told a female contender: S.James of south London wins £35 for that howler. Keep ‘em coming to the address at the top of the page.
CELEBRITY Big Brother had the lowest launch night audience in the show’s 16year history.
Possibly because TV’s idea of what celebrity means is now stretched thinner than Casandra’s face on Doctor Who.
Few of these clods would cause more than a half-hearted stir in your local. Most are the usual mix of reality show rejects, unknown Yanks and unlikeable wannabes.
Chad Johnson, an estate agent from Oklahoma, got kicked off some nitwit US show for soiling his pants. Classy.
He thinks he’s God’s gift to women, which would certainly be true if The Almighty wanted women to have a second arse.
Early favourite is Shaun Williamson aka Fat Barry out of EastEnders (out of EastEnders for 13-and-a-half years if you’re counting).
Shaun’s first-night mission was to look like the most nervous housemate ever, something he achieved before they even gave him the task.
Then there’s Sarah Harding, booked presumably in the hope she’ll get sloshed and slag off Cheryl.
Paul Danan, who in reality TV terms has been round the block more times than an Uber driver with a broken satnav.
Likeable but deluded Sandi Bogle, who Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday,
10 Lower Thames Street, London
EC3R 6EN weakened Googlebox by leaving it. And self-styled “psychic” Derek Acorah who is threatening to “expose a presence” in the house with his spirit guide Sam.
Hopefully the presence of a charlatan… Most Haunted sacked Del-Boy for faking, which is a bit like getting kicked out of the Mitchell family for being a thug.
Apprentice loser Karthik brings his monobrow, mob wife Marissa Jade brings MILF hotness and Helen Lederer brings questions like “didn’t she used to be…?” (Yes) and “Will she ever be funny?” (No).
The most well-known contestant I don’t know is YouTube sensation Trisha Paytas who has a voice like cats’ claws on a blackboard.
Brandi Glanville, whose actor husband dumped her for LeAnne Rimes, speaks fluent fecking graffiti.
Some of these people would deep-fry their grannies for undeserved fame. They’ll inevitably overshadow relatively normal housemates like Posh Sam and The X Factor’s Amelia Lily.
Throw in barely stable Jemma Lucy and loud Jordan Davies and sparks will fly like Russell Mael from a circus cannon. But normal Big Brother trawls the same shallow “reality” waters, so what separates the two brands?
CBB once booked household names, top comedians and genuine stars.
These days it’s more a case of: No celebrities – why bother? MARISSA Jade (CBB)…Moeen Ali’s hat-trick, right…Preacher (AmPrime)…Old People’s Home For 4 Year Olds. IN The Dark – as turgid and dreary as a New Mills FC home game... Derek Acorah, left – as much use as a cactus dildo. One known for working with sick animals, the other has never even been seen at the Aviva Stadium.