Cursing pair the worse for swear
RICHARD Clay kicked off his drippy Utopia: In Search of the Dream series at Watford’s Vicarage Road ground. “Where better to begin?” he asked. Judging by last season, Stamford Bridge, Anfield, the Etihad... NEW TV show suggestions: The Crystal Meth Maze. Question Time on the Beach. America’s Next Top Moron...and how about Marriage Island? It’s like Love Island but the sex tails off dramatically. MONTY Don was talking to his retriever Nell on Gardeners’ World when he said: A.Wightman of Newport wins £35 for that howler. Keep ’em coming to the address at the top of the page. DUMB quiz show answer of the week from Cash Trapped. Brad: “What famous diary writer was born in 1633?”
Helen: “Anne Frank…that’s wrong. It’s Adrian Mole, probably.” SO, a Bussell on Strictly, a Bogle on CBB and a Burgle on Fargo. For the bungle see that boob flash on the BBC news... sadly, not involving Emily Maitlis.
SARAH Harding and Jemma Lucy went into full Jeremy Kyle show mode on Celeb Big Brother.
“You two-faced little bitch!”…“You little f***ing slag!”…“Why are you diving in like a f***ing c***?”
Talk about Fire and Fury! Donald Trump wouldn’t tweet this stuff. It was like Derek and Clive without the laughs.
As the vile exchange heated up, Sarah told the Ex on the Beach nobody: “I do not shag on TV for a living.”
Jemma hit back: “Well we know what you do off TV, and that’s a f*** load of drugs” – a bit rich as exclusive pictures of her snorting white lines appeared in the Daily Star Sunday last week…
“Little slag face” Sarah had copped the hump because hunky nonentity Chad-Who had been chatting amiably with Jemma and YouTube Trisha.
Only the subtitles made their bust-up bearable, as “F*** off you little bitch” became “Fudge-macro off ”.
Sarah was reduced to tears, again, telling Big Bruv that the Manc skank felt threatened by her fanbase (not to mention her achievements).
It’s possible Sarah had assumed from the show’s title that she’d be in a house with famous people rather than a rag-bag of low-rent zzz-listers.
She’s clearly not equipped psychologically for this kind of hoo-ha. Her diary Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday,
10 Lower Thames Street, London
EC3R 6EN room meltdowns suggest that her inner Sinead is not far from the surface.
Some have speculated Derek Acorah’s séance opened the house to negative forces. Grow up! Del-Boy is as authentic as Christopher Lambert’s mystery accent in Highlander.
He claimed to detect a little girl, saying: “I smelled urine.” Me too, mate, and you were taking it.
Acorah was slung off Most Haunted for contacting the non-spirits of Rik Eedles and Kreed Kafer – anagrams for Derek Lies and Derek Faker.
Yet C5 is happily perpetuating his parasitic career, with idiot contestants falling for it and university graduate Helen Lederer clapping the corners of the room afterwards to get rid of “bad energy”. Fudge-macro off! You’d have ■ thought Del having Jordan-Who strip to his pants to encounter a spirit called Malcolm might have suggested that the bad energy was generated entirely by the production team.
Everything about this show from Acorah to unstable wannabes booked purely for their propensity to kick-off reeks of cynicism and the continued erosion of broadcasting standards.
But if we watch it, what does that make us?
JEMMA was filmed apparently snorting cocaine from a friend’s bare backside. That’s shocking. That’s very nearly taking crack.
KARTHIK went on Friday. The guy might be a double reality show loser but he’ll always be remembered...in any list of TV’s most irritating monobrows.