Loopy doc is a total quackpot
EDDIE Floyd and Sam Moore at the Proms. Tom Jones’ tribute to Otis Redding. Rock And Roll (Sky Arts). Saps At Sea (Talking Pictures TV). Lee Mack. Cold Feet. The Money SuperMarket ad spoofing Dirty Dancing with He-Man and Skeletor. ANDREW Cotter, commentating on golfer Henrik Stenson during the Open, said: M.Ashbee of Etchingham wins £35 for that howler. Keep ’em coming to the address at the top of the page. THE new X Factor is sponsored by Just Eat. Well, it never did Adele any harm…
SIMON has apologised for Honey G. Still no word on Jedward, Bratavio or Rylan. SOPHIE’s crack was found to be “a little bit rubbery” on Bake Off. It probably tasted okay, though, at a stretch.
DOCTOR Foster is brilliantly addictive drama, but can we talk about the doctor?
You wouldn’t be surprised if the GP after Gemma’s name stood for Generally Psychotic.
The woman is nuttier than an almond and pistachio Bake Off show-stopper blitzed with peanut butter frosting.
Consider the evidence. As soon as Gemma, inset, learns her love rat ex Simon is moving back to Parminster she breaks into his new house.
She then gatecrashes his wedding reception, refuses to leave and sneaks off to poke around in his bedroom.
Now I know he cheated on her with new wife Kate, knocking her up in the process, but that was two years ago. Gemma is no more capable of moving on than an Easter Island statue.
Kicking off is what she does. Last series her crimes included bribery, assault and professional misconduct.
After staging the most cringeworthy IT was Disaster Week in Albert Square. That’s right, another one. They’ve already had a bus crash and the battered chip shop…now a gas explosion, arson, a shooting, a miscarriage...
All they need is a plague of locusts for the full set.
Whenever the soap’s storylines start sagging like Lisa Riley’s Baggy Body Club, the producers Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday,
10 Lower Thames Street, London
EC3R 6EN get-together this side of Abigail’s Party, the mental medic told Si she’d killed their son Tom, goading him until he walloped her.
Simon was found guilty of assault, he and Kate were forced to move to London, Gemma kept the family home and had custody of the boy.
She got her revenge. She won. Or so you’d think...
But Slippery Simon has somehow struck it rich, bought a seriously plush new drum and moved his family back home. So the cascade of madness and mind games is starting all over again.
Gemma’s dating a patient, driving like Kirsty Gallacher the morning after and treating NHS guidelines on wine consumption with as much respect as she treats the Hippocratic oath...
Twice she got close to Si and felt his chuck in catastrophes to woo back viewers.
This was the Square’s twelfth fire. They’ve suffered stabbings, gang hits, RTAs, a collapsing funfair…you’d be safer living in Qalamoun.
Thursday was particularly nuts, with residents running into crime scenes, or gassing in burning buildings apparently immune to the smoke. excitement, taking it as proof he still has feelings for her. Although getting aroused when Suranne Jones brushes up against you really only proves you’re a heterosexual male.
Now embarrassed Tom has decamped to his dad’s. Uh-oh. Gemma responded by mixing acids in a beaker, dropping in her wedding ring and watching it dissolve. A normal woman would have flogged it or binned it. But, as we’ve already established, Gemma Foster is not normal. There must be viewers in Broadmoor who think she’s a bit too unhinged.
She’s already contemplating murder and is bound to go full Hurricane Irma on them soon.
And yes, being cheated on must be heartbreaking, but Gemma needs counselling. Probably sectioning. Physician heal thyself. Johnny’s ambulance was hit by a lorry (which vanished). I think Branson was driving it.
But only Steven died, which means criminal master-klutz Max failed to bump off Jane. (No-one believed Phil would end up brown-bread. The old soak is like Luke Cage, as indestructible as his liver.)
Disasters are a temporary fix, though. To rebuild audiences the soap needs stronger core characters, believable plots and joy to temper the misery.
The way things are now it’s a wonder they don’t just stick a diving board on the Queen Vic roof and have done with it.
THEY had Ronnie’s carrots at Walford In Bloom. I preferred Roxy’s peaches. For the turnip, see Mick Carter. TIM Roth, right, Tin Star (SkyAt)...Bertie Carvel, Doctor Foster...I’m Dying Up Here (SkyAt). THE Davina Hour, left – navel-gazing for self-obsessed nitwits... Diana & I – maudlin and dawdling...Cannonball – splashing bore although Frankie Bridge sparkles even on the Blob. X FACTOR judges not noticing when contenders sing flat. Corrie’s crackpot kidnap plot. Remoaners constantly trying to subvert democracy. Man-hating Shazia Mirza, the world’s most miserable alleged comedian – what makes her smile, an open grave?
‘It’s a really good start, he certainly can’t complain about a 69’