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THE scariest part of Gordon Ramsay On Cocaine was seeing gasoline, battery acid and cement used in the manufacturing process.

If I wanted to risk that kind of chemical time-bomb, I’d eat at McKlunky’s. Acid, cement and gasoline...it sounds like the ingredients Macbeth’s witches forgot.

Ramsay said he made the show because a friend died after taking contaminated coke in 2003. Fourteen years to spring into action? He’s definitely not on speed then.

He made no attempt to put cocaine use in perspective. The drug (including its deadlier cousin crack) was involved in 371 deaths in England and Wales last year.

Contrast that with around 9,000 alcohol-related deaths and more than 2,000 involving opiates.

460 involved legal anti-depressants which no-one ever investigates. THEY had a Rum Nicky on Bake Off, a large sweet tart with a rum-soaked fruity filling... wasn’t that Mandy Dingle? IF Anneka Rice doesn’t want to be spotted, why not go back on The Wright Stuff? I bet he did. Not sure about Steven’s claim: “I’ve got a huge clanger” though. M.Ashbee of Etchingham wins £35 for that howler. Keep ’em coming to the address at the top of the page.

BILLY bashed Peter Barlow on Corrie, earning himself the nickname Reverend Right-Hook. Although clearly a welterweight, I’d fancy Billy’s chances against Hughie Fury.You can’t get better than a quick, fit vicar.