STRICTLY STAR’S SUICIDE TORMENT

Susan beats demons to shine on show

STRICTLY star Susan Calman says performing on the celebrity dance show helps her fight her inner demons.

She has suffered badly with depression and as a teen was sectioned after attempting suicide by downing pills.

COMIC Susan Calman credits Strictly for helping her cope with the depression that once led her to attempt suicide.

When she was at her lowest point in her teens she self-harmed, downed pills in a bid to end her life and was sectioned over fears for her safety.

Millions of viewers have seen Susan, 42, performing confidently on the Strictly dance floor on Saturday nights.

But years ago it was a different story as she battled her mental health problems in secret.

She said: “By not talking I ended up in a quite terrible place. I felt alone, isolated, confused about why I couldn’t just make myself happy.

“I’d started cutting myself, a common thing to do among many depressives, and I still have scars on my arms from that time.

“I hate them. I see them every day as a reminder of how I felt, of the frustration and anger that was directed towards myself.

“I would sit in my room punishing myself for my own mind and being singularly unable to know what to do about it.

“Unsurprisingly, after years of keeping quiet everything fell apart in a rather horrific way. I tried to kill myself. I took a load of pills one day because I just couldn’t see any way out.”

Susan was sectioned under the Mental Health Act and taken to an adolescent psychiatric ward at a Glasgow hospital.

In her book Cheer Up, Love, she wrote: “It was awful. I was terrified. No doors on the toilets or showers, being watched 24 hours a day.

“There were some incredibly disturbed people in the hospital with me, who were clearly frightened of themselves and the staff.”

But Susan is now having the time of her life on Strictly alongside professional partner Kevin Clifton, 35.

And she is convinced competing on the show has given her mental health a boost.

Susan said: “Dancing absolutely lifts your mood. I’m a great believer in exercise in helping depression. But there’s also the happiness I get out of dancing.

“The joy I’m getting from performing is helping my mood and how I feel about things.

“Being part of the show feels amazing and every day I absolutely appreciate what’s happening.

“If I could say anything to my 16-year-old self it would be ‘don’t worry, one day you’re going to be on Strictly Come Dancing’.” Susan is having talks with bosses at children’s network CBBC over fronting shows about mental health.

She added: “They are always looking at ways to help young viewers with selfesteem. I’m also speaking to publishers too.”

TIME OF HER LIFE: Susan says dancing lifts her mood