Caterham tribute trip grinds to a halt after 20 exhilarating miles

I’D been putting it off for days but my plan was to don my bestest bike kit, finest thermal underwear, a fullface helmet and drive four hours to Portmeirion and four hours back in this ’ere Caterham 360R.

Wasn’t it the furious fell walker Alfred Wainwright who said there’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing?

The 1960s TV show The Prisoner was shot in and around Portmeirion and the Lotus Super Seven was a star in that show.

The modern-day version is a Lotus Super Seven in all but name, with Caterham acquiring the rights to build and develop the Seven from Lotus in 1973.

This year marks the 60th anniversary of the Super Seven, so my trip to the Welsh coast in a 360R seemed like a fitting tribute. Plus, I’ve always wanted to see the place. So, with the sun just poking its head above ground, Thermos loaded with piping hot tea, it was time to brave the elements.

My 360R test car was fitted with the height of luxury – a heater. This, like the heated windscreen, is on the optional extras list. Presumably in hardcore Caterham circles, it’s deemed as being a bit sissy. But with a layer of frost on said screen, it at least saved me using my debit card to restore visibility.

Annoyingly there was no room inside to wear a helmet with the fabric hood fitted. With eight hours of driving ahead of me and my head level with HGVs’ wheel nuts it only took me a few seconds to decide between the roof or the helmet. The roof was quickly un-popped and stowed in what is laughably called the boot.

Another vote in favour of the helmet was the Sena intercom installed in it – crucial for hearing satnav commands over the racket of the free-flowing stainless steel exhaust pipe a foot away from my lug ’oles.

It takes a while to get the harnesses on but the effort’s worth it. With all the straps adjusted you are pinned into this car like your body’s a component.

You don’t have to move anything very much to drive a Caterham. The steering is so high geared it only takes millimetres of rotation to move the car feet. It’s the same with the stubby gearlever – more wrist than arm movement.

Most of the (pretty cheap and nasty) switchgear is only an extended finger away, meaning you don’t have to take a hand off the wheel to operate the comedy wipers or indicators.

There’s a nice accuracy in the clutch bite point and this car’s so light and the engine so torquey you can comfortably pull away in second gear. Throttle connection and fuelling is about the best I’ve experienced in any Caterham.

Ten miles into my all-day drive I was already in the swing of it – heater fullblast, headlights on and batting along with the rest of the commuter traffic.

Whoever built this car did a fantastic job with the spring and damper settings. From the driver’s seat you can actually watch the front suspension at work as the wheels bob up and down in time to the bumps.

Twenty miles in, I reckoned I’d actually managed to get some heat into the tyres and on the first short stretch of dual carriageway I banged it back a gear and floored it.

Blimey! It’s quick and that revvy motor sounds fantastic.

Quick glance in the rear-view mirror. I don’t remember driving through that fog. Hang on a minute that’s not fog. That’s smoke. A lot of smoke. Why are those cars flashing at me?

Doh. It’s smoke from my Caterham. Think it’s damaged a piston ring.

That trip to Portmeirion will have to wait until next year.