Westworld? I’m a big fan-droid
RICHARD Arnold was talking about dressing up as a wrestler on Good Morning Britain when he said: V.Reynolds of Liverpool wins £35 for that howler. Keep ’em coming to the address at the top of the page. WHAT a gruelling marathon last weekend. Not the race, the Queen’s Birthday Party. The acts were random, Zoe Ball was hugely irritating, and Tom Chambers looked as sozzled as the booker…
I suppose we should just be grateful that Sting left his lute at home.
OVER on sci-fi thriller Westworld the robot uprising is in full swing.
Dishy Delores is roaming the badlands gleefully bumping off human survivors – that’s what I call a cyber attack.
And marvellous Maeve has taken Lee Sizemore hostage. The theme park’s cynical head writer slyly attempted to expose her as an android.
Maeve snapped: “Try that again and I will relieve you of your most precious organ and feed it to you... Not that it’d make much of a meal.”
When Lee protested “I wrote that line for you!” Maeve replied: “A bit broad if you ask me.”
So not only are the park’s hosts selfaware, they’re judging their creators.
Delores, pictured, was a naive rancher’s daughter doomed to die horribly. Now she’s on a killing spree of her own and humanity looks stuffed.
Who can help? Not Dr Robert Ford. The brilliant boffin who created the retro-Western theme park is deader than Bill Cosby’s career.
Maybe The Man In Black can. Ruthless super-rich gamer William, who persecuted Delores in her past lives, is chuffed that the ultra-violence is now real. When the young android Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday,
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EC3R 6EN Ford told him that he’d solved the park’s mysterious maze puzzle and reached a new stage of “the game”, the charmless psychopath shot him straight in the mooey.
Or maybe Bernard will save the day. The park’s head programmer recently discovered that he’s an android duplicate of WW co-founder Arnold Weber.
He’s “dying” but fixes himself temporarily with fluid from another ’droid.
Charlotte, a big-shot at park owners Delos Inc, took Bernard to a secret bunker where “drone” robots extract recordings of guest experiences (and their DNA) from park hosts.
These guys make Cambridge Analytica look like amateurs. We also discovered that the ’bots are all linked together mentally like Star Trek’s evil Borg, or Momentum. And that Charlotte has loaded up one host with data to smuggle back to Delos.
Trying to decipher Westworld can be tougher than describing Gemma Collins without swearing.
It’s handicapped by leaping timelines and can get lost in its own cleverness.
But there’s much to love about this hugely ambitious show, not least Thandie Newton and Evan Rachel Wood. And the second season seems more assured.
Westworld works best when it remembers to tell a story – and to crack a smile. WESTWORLD and Thandie Newton, right (SkyAt)…Harry Hill’s Alien Fun Capsule…The Terror (AMC). THE Queen’s Birthday Party – curled more toes than Torquemada… Genius: Picasso, left – stinks like the sewers on Fatberg Autopsy…The Woman In White – more man-hating tripe.
‘I decided to pull off Dickie the Destroyer this morning’