Isle’s Mega rivals

LOVE Island was dominated by the beta-male rivalry between lonely loins Alex (A&E doctor) and Eyal (drippy hippy Mr Tumnus lookalike).

Both are infatuated with Megan, or possibly hypnotised by her magnificent lips. She looks like she could suck the Hammerite off a tow bar.

Eyal crushed Alex’s chances with her and then had a pop at him for talking to her “behind my back” – just to prove even “new age” nitwits do possessiveness.

Ellie arrived last night, smuggling in Rob Beckett’s teeth. Hayley was axed. She’ll return to Blighty as Theresa May’s most clued-up Brexit advisor.