Suck and tired of toerag Ossie
TRACY Austin was talking about Wang Qiang at Wimbledon when she said: M.Ashbee of Etchingham wins £35 for that classic howler. Keep ‘em coming to the address at the top of the page.
IT’S hard to believe that Morwenna is refusing to bed her husband on Poldark.
What’s odious Ossie done deserve such cruel rejection?
Except force himself on her when she was pregnant and poorly, knock up her sister Rowella and suck other women’s toes for cash (inset)...
Now the randy reverend wants to get her committed to a lunatic asylum. Tsk. You can’t get sicker than a quick, stiff vicar.
Mercifully, dishy Doctor Dwight won’t hear of it. But there must be some base men, possibly even presidents, who are thinking: “Really? Conjugal rights were a thing? Hmm… where’s the Tardis when you need it?”
Ossie is gutted. He thinks a woman would have to be nuts to turn him down – oily, slobbering hunka-hunka burning love that he is.
The holy hypocrite still reluctantly to Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday,
10 Lower Thames Street, London
EC3R 6EN pays Rowella for favours, despite calling her a “vile acquisitive harlot”. Incredibly he’s the light relief… Poldark cranked up the misery to Corrie levels last weekend.
The mine flooded, Dwight saved Bobby’s life. Then tragically his own baby
Sarah died… and wife Caroline walked out on their marriage.
Heart-breaking stuff, although you had to wonder how an 18th century GP managed to diagnose Sarah’s congenital heart defect so accurately simply by staring sadly into the poor tot’s eyes.
Poldark isn’t just soap in fancy dress though. The storylines ring true for the time and the male characters are drawn well.
Capt Ross is a proper bloke. He’s wise, loyal, loving and hard-working, but ready to leap in with both fists flying when the need arises. Consequently, women drool over him in or out of his swimming britches in a way that’d be shockingly “sexist” if a man did the same over Demelza (gloriously dubbed an “impudent kitchen troll” by Evil George).
God knows how they coped when Ross was swinging his big pick down that mine. “Does that feel moist?” was the question.
I’ll say. Everything got wet very quickly. And on the show too…
RE toe-sucking: Do you think Ossie pays extra for corns, warts and bunions? Old Prudie could be walking on a fortune. GABRIELLA Wilde, Poldark, right…Kylian Mbappe… GLOW (Netflix)... Humans finale. MEGAN, Love Island, left, – mean and manipulative, but still not quite as cringe-making as Caroline Flack…Versailles – off with their heads…Keith Lemon Coming In America – old jokes re-heated.
‘Hard, flat, deep, Wang’s so penetrating on grass.’
THE BBC are proud of their record on diversity. Every ethnic, sexual and gender minority is covered. There’s only one group they actively ignore – the long-suffering majority who pay their wages.
PIERS Morgan seems to treat his Good Morning Britain job as an audition for voice-over work. All you hear throughout the show is his voice over everyone else's.