Share to ease pain

Daily Star Sunday - - FRONT PAGE -

I’m done. I know I will be fine, but over the last seven years there have been times when I’ve felt like a freak.

“You try not to cry be­cause you don’t want to add any stress or anx­i­ety to your body, and also be­cause life keeps go­ing. I’m so lucky to have kids, but you do cry.

“To all those women go­ing through this, it’s OK to own your grief, to be sad and to ask for sup­port from those clos­est to you. You don’t have to keep what you’re go­ing through a se­cret, or brush it un­der the car­pet like it doesn’t mat­ter. It’s your re­al­ity and your pain.

“If you can’t un­der­stand what some­one’s go­ing through, or think they’re deal­ing with it dif­fer­ently to how you would, it doesn’t mat­ter. Just be kind. As women we have to have to be more com­pas­sion­ate to­wards each other.” TRAUMA and loss ex­pert Dr Glenn Ma­son urged cou­ples to talk about their feel­ings af­ter a mis­car­riage to avoid prob­lems later on.

The psy­chol­o­gist said the pain of los­ing a baby can spi­ral out of con­trol and af­fect re­la­tion­ships.

He ex­plained: “The im­pact of a mis­car­riage is a grief re­ac­tion.

“They’ve got this dream of hav­ing a fam­ily and are con­stantly be­ing faced with this loss.

“Cou­ples need to com­mu­ni­cate and be hon­est about how they are feel­ing.”

Dr Ma­son said men es­pe­cially need to be more frank about their emo­tional state.

He added: “I don’t want to stereo­type men but a lot feel they have to be the strong one.

“It’s so im­por­tant to open up be­cause it can hit them fur­ther down the line.”

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