THIS IS A GIFT? LOO MUST BE JOKING...
JAYNE TELLS OF WORST XMAS PREZZIES EVER
POOR Jayne Herbert was left flushed and drained after her fella bought her a toilet seat for Christmas.
Now she has lifted the lid on a whole host of bog-standard gifts from her partner John Nettleton, including bricks, a wheelbarrow and steel toe-capped boots.
Jayne, 63, said: “John buys me the worst Christmas presents in the world. Every year I’m left waiting to see how he can top the last year.
“I tend to ask for perfume, or something nice that I wouldn’t buy myself, but every year I’m left disappointed.
“I have received all sorts of things, but John is sure they always have a purpose and that they’re simply just practical presents.
“He bought me a toilet seat one year, because my sister had cracked mine and the seat wouldn’t go down properly. And one year he took it upon himself to re-gas my air conditioning unit as my present.”
Jayne, of Mansfield, Notts, added: “After I bought my house, I really got into renovating and decorating it. John would always help out, so the presents tended to derive from that.
“He bought me bricks to help extend the conservatory and strip lights to help me see in the garden shed.
“Other presents have included a TV bracket and a high-visibility jacket and steel-toe capped boots in case I ever get into any trouble if I’m stuck on the side of the motorway.
“I don’t get excited to see what I’m going to get any more. It’s more anxiety that I get than anything.”
But John, 72, her partner of 12 years, said: “I’m Mr Practicality. I buy the presents mainly because they fit into projects we’ve been doing. For example, I bought the wheelbarrow because we were making a pond in the garden and we needed one.
“I love buying Jayne’s Christmas presents. I pick something practical and useful and can’t wait to see her face when she opens them every year.” Jayne hasn’t given up hope of getting a gift to warm her heart and this year has asked for a big Christmas tree.
But she admitted: “It wouldn’t be Christmas without John buying me rubbish presents. And it’s become part of everyone’s routine. “Christmas Day is full of phone calls from my friends and family asking what he’s got me this year.
“As much as I despise the presents he buys me, it still makes me laugh year after year when I unwrap something even more ridiculous than the last. “Maybe one year I’ll get the flowers and perfume I’ve been waiting for!”
DAILY STAR SUNDAY SAYS – PAGE 6