Quick comedy is falling short
LADY Denham said on Sanditon: “I do not need to meet a person to form an opinion.” Quite right, love. Just as we don’t need to see any more of this bizarre romp to know it won’t win any Baftas...
Elsewhere, a new character turned up: Dr Fuchs! (He hasn’t yet!) Why not call it Carry On Austen and be done with it? LORD Ivar Mountbatten on Treasure Island. Life On Mars (iPlayer). Anna Friel’s diabolical drunk dancing on Deep Water. Undone (Amazon). Dominic West, Brassic.
IF Sharon Osbourne has any more facelifts she’ll have whiskers on her chin. STATE Of The Union comes in bite-size chunks, presumably so we don’t have time to nod off. God, it’s dull.
Frosty physician Louise cheated on her unemployed husband Tom after his sex drive went into reverse.
We don’t know why his libido went floppy. Possibly he had an allergic reaction to her being a condescending cow with snooty, right-on pals.
Their Brexit differences got a mention, inevitably. If only she had relaxed on the backstop...
We do know that prim Louise (Rosamund Pike) shagged another bloke four times (just the one night then?).
But oddly, cuckolded Tom has yet to ask if his rival was better, or bigger, than him. And no-one has advised her: “Physician feel
THE glory days of soggy lady fingers and irregular-shaped balls may be behind us, but Bake Off hasn’t given up on saucy innuendos altogether.
This week we heard Noel tell a camp chap: “I can’t imagine you’re a bap kind of character.” And contestant Phil proudly exclaimed: “I’m a meat man”.
There was talk of “kneading technique”, a claim that “Prue might be alarmed by the size”, and the revelation: “I like quite a tight bun.”
It can’t be too long until one of these master bakers serves up a nice moist crack. thyself”. Each episode, the unlikely couple meet in a soulless pub and bicker before seeing a counsellor.
Even the great Chris O’Dowd can’t make it interesting.
It’s meant to be poignant but the dialogue veers from over-slick to dismal, the “comedy” – Tom scarpered before their first session – is feeble, and it’s hard to believe the pair were ever suited. You’d have more fun spotting the continuity errors, like Louise’s remarkable self-filling wine glass.
Sod therapy. Tom needs a mate in a proper boozer to tell him: “Turf her out, son. She’s done it once, she’ll do it again...possibly in a bathroom at a posh dinner party where she’ll forget her drawers.”
In other words – Vote Leave. Shortform content is nothing new – Rob Brydon’s inspired Marion & Geoff aired 19 years ago.
Danny Baker’s TV Heroes was another miniature joy. But nowadays quickie TV is everywhere from YouTube to Adult Swim and it’s attracting big names and big money.
It’s perfect for commuters and folk with ADHD, but even the best “snack” TV would struggle to compete with the pleasure of gorging on a 13-course box set banquet. TOP Boy (right, Netflix)...Russell Crowe, The Loudest Voice...The Capture... A Confession... Paul Anderson, Peaky Blinders. TEMPLE (left, Sky1) – mental...The Rob Rinder Verdict – clown court...Virtual Sex – virtually no sex, and absolutely no virtue. ALLEGED celebrity specials scraping multiple barrels with their obscure guest bookings. The Proms – “wider still and wider”? Who are they kidding?