We look back on 50 years of crackers comedy

ALWAYS look bright on the side of life… with our brilliant collection of Monty Python gags to celebrate the comedy troupe’s half-century. The TV show Monty Python’s Flying Circus was first broadcast on October 5, 1969. As well as the hit series there have been spin-off movies, a musical and various live shows. They made the team – John Python Palin, Cleese, Michael Terry Jones,

Graham Chapman Eric Idle, the late household and Terry Gilliam names. – Now of their funniest recalls some millions lines still quoted of fans… by “He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!” (The Life Of Brian, 1979)

“I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK. I sleep all night, I work all day. I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars.” (The Lumberjack Song, 1969)

“This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn’t nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It’s run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!”

The Dead

Parrot Sketch

(1969, right)

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate!” (The Meaning Of Life, 1983)

“Excuse me. Are you the Judean People’s Front?” “F*** off! ‘Judean People’s Front’? We’re the People’s Front of Judea!’” (The Life Of Brian)

“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise

– and ruthless efficiency. Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency… (The Spanish Inquisition, 1970)

Black Knight: “Tis but a scratch.” King Arthur: “A scratch? Your arm’s off!” Black Knight: “Just a flesh wound!” (Monty Python And The Holy Grail, 1975)

“All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?” (The Life Of Brian)

“I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries…” (Monty Python And The Holy Grail)

“You were lucky to have a room – ee used to have to live in a corridor.”

“Oh we used to dream of livin’ in a corridor! Woulda’ been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us.” (The Four Yorkshiremen sketch)

“What did he say?” “I think it was, ‘Blessed are the cheesemakers’.” (The Life of Brian)

Customer: “Have you got anything without Spam?” Waitress: “Well, there’s Spam, egg, sausage and Spam – that’s not got much Spam in it!” Vikings: “Spam Spam Spam Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!” (Spam sketch, 1970)

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting but I’m afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently.” (The Ministry Of Silly Walks sketch, 1970, left)

Waiter to Mr Creosote: “Finally, monsieur – a wafer-thin mint!” (The Meaning Of Life)