Kate’s in whole nu-nu ball game
ODD that the BBC’s woke dramas make viewers doze.
NEGAN, The Walking Dead, below. That “squid pro quo” line on Watchmen. Lynyrd Skynyrd: If I Leave Here Tomorrow. Harry Wicks. Kojak repeats. Alex Jennings, Gold Digger.
RYAN-Mark got the bullet on The Apprentice, a man so posh he has, as Dominic Holland pointed out, a doublebarrelled first name.
His “luxury” Pullman train experience included a two-hour wait for food and a glutenfree meal consisting of a bowl of fruit.
That said, with London trains it’s a luxury if they turn up.
SAY what you like about I’m A Celebrity, but few other shows could make you quite so concerned about Kate Garraway’s private parts.
“Don’t get up my nu-nu,” the ITV breakfast presenter squawked, adding: “They’re going up my nu-nu.”
She was referring to cockroaches, of course, not Ant & Dec – although you can never be too sure.
Like me, you may have been slightly underwhelmed by this year’s jungle line-up and the Groundhog Day aspect of the trials.
Once you’ve seen one terrified Z-list celeb tottering along in a safety harness 334ft in the air at absolutely no risk of injury, you’ve seen ’em all...
Yet ITV still manage to cram moments of genuine joy into their jungle show. Kate trying to rugby tackle James Haskell and bouncing straight off him was downright hilarious.
As were DJ Roman Kemp’s stories about dad Martin: “He still doesn’t realise his mic wasn’t switched on for Live Aid.” And Andrew Maxwell admitting: “You don’t know me, let’s be
Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP honest.” We barely knew half of them. But Irish comedian Andrew’s didgeridoo impression was so scarily accurate it must’ve stoked fears that Rolf Harris had turned up.
Adele Roberts is the one you don’t remember from Big Brother 3 who rowed with Jade about her verruca.
We’ve had no rows here yet. Everyone is walking on eggshells.
Ian Wright’s clash with Andrew has been the only half-decent jungle barney. Things picked up with the arrival of loveable laughing boys Kirk and Minty, aka Andrew Whyment and Cliff “Call The Midriff” Parisi.
But it feels a bit hampered by political correctness. When Caitlin Jenner dropped two balls in a basket, no-one dared to whisper an un-woke joke.
Not even on the diabolical Extra Camp.
When Ant gleefully cried “The planks are back”, viewers would’ve been forgiven for thinking he meant the ITV2 spin-off’s pundits.
ZOE Wanamaker, right, Britannia – madder than Harry Hill...the Guilt finale... Ray Donovan (SkyAt)... Country Music: A Film by Ken Burns (BBC4).
THE War Of The Worlds – wobblier than a Martian tripod...Vienna Blood, left – Sherlock Cloned...I’m A Celeb: Extra Camp – stinks like a jungle dunny.
ANY week when The Chase isn’t on. ITV failing to add a helmet of scorpions to their deeply flawed leaders’ debate. Way too many naked women on mortuary slabs.