Flop cops are Spiffing image such baddies
SUBTITLE COCK-UP OF THE WEEK: MOTD2 commentator on the Watford v Liverpool game apparently saying: “It’s gone over DNA, the curry is there...”
He actually said: “It’s gone over Deeney, Doucouré’s there.” Although the way LFC played, maybe they were weighed down by a hefty Ruby...
THE Righteous Gemstones, inset, (SkyAt). Rob Brydon. Buster Keaton clips, Age Of Imagery. Wild Cuba. Narcos: Mexico (Netflix). Bored To Death. Passport To Pimlico (TPTV). Barbarella (Sky Cinema).
THESE days you can watch TV all week without ever leaving the scene of a crime.
ITV are pushing mismatched cops McDonald and Dodds as Columbo reborn in Bath. In their dreams.
Tala Gouveia, pictured with Jason Watkins, was last seen dating a teenager on Cold Feet but is now Lauren McDonald, a DCI fast-tracked from that London.
In contrast, DS Dodds is a meek and modest soul whose boss thinks he’s deadwood and whose wife left him years ago, possibly because he dips his chips in butter.
He’s a desk copper who solves crimes in a library. His notebook is battered, his accent is uncertain and his parka looks way too new.
Like Columbo, Dodds has no first name, everyone underestimates him, and his criminal opponents are played by well-known actors.
Step forward Robert Lindsay, inset, displaying more prime ham than a Wiltshire butcher. Unlike Columbo,
Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP the plot was nuts. It felt like a particularly lame week on Death In Paradise, without the benefit of a reggae soundtrack.
ITV loves these gentle murder mystery marathons, but this is no Morse (neither was the last Endeavour, which felt hastily written and was lumbered with daft errors).
Is it only me missing Gene Hunt? Elsewhere Liar asked: Who killed Andrew Earlham? Apart from Bill Cosby, who cares?
The dodgy doctor was a serial rapist who drugged and sexually abused multiple women. When his throat was cut in the 2017 series, most viewers probably thought he had it coming. Oh dear, what a pity, never mind.
But Liar was such a ratings winner, ITV have revived it with more desperate flashbacks than a perverts’ outing, and Katherine Kelly as an irritating, loudly gum-chewing DI, who collars Earlham’s victim Laura for his murder.
Several dead horses raised their heads mid-flogging to yawn.
WAR Of The Worlds, right (Fox)...Alin Sumarwata, Strike Back: Vendetta (Sky1) ...I’m Not Okay With This (Netflix)...Cynthia Erivo, The Outsider.
THE Trouble With Maggie Cole – curled more toes than dystonia...Ready Steady Cook, left – under-done... Noughts & Crosses – nought worth watching.
HEAVY-handed background music on The Split, and needy creep Christie – send the Dutchman flying, Nathan! Obscure dimwits on Celeb Mastermind. Dan Biggar whining and moaning.
ISN’T coronavirus depressing? It makes you nostalgic for the days the only super-spreader on TV was Roxy Mitchell.
Who else saw Five Guys A Week in the schedules and thought of her?
WHAT’S happened to EastEnders? For months the soap’s only highlights have been in Jessica Plummer’s hair.
CAMPAIGN CORNER: Viewers with hearing difficulties are missing out on a lot of great shows because they lack subtitles. Will the History Channel get this fixed?