Louis on trip to bake of beyond
LOUIS Theroux has taken on some nutcases in his time – murderers, Scientologists, Christine Hamilton.
But how would he cope with the gruelling challenge of… The Great Stand Up To Cancer Bake Off?
Pretty well, to be fair. TV’s deadpan documentary-maker was funnier than the comics. He even mocked Paul Hollywood’s “ridiculous name”, which takes some front when his own inspired a thousand puns and he’s married to a woman called Strang…
Louis scoffed at Jenny Eclair’s claim to be a baking novice, branding her a “consummate hustler… she’s probably got her own chain of bakeries called Jenny’s Eclairs”.
He had a point. The Grumpy Old Woman was on a roll. Jen aced the mille-feuille technical challenge, claiming, “It’s a fluke – guides’ honour”. (Russell Howard thought millefeuille was “the guy trying to kill Harry Potter”).
And her biscuits, modelled on Mexican surrealist artist Frida Kahlo, won her a Hollywood handshake.
Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP
Russell’s Showstopper looked more like something from Picasso’s nightmares. It was supposed to show him and his missus in their sitting room, but he joked: “Vandals have broken in and I’m furious.”
Howard proved he was a genuine rookie by serving up raw pastry and a peanut butter cookie with more icing than a crate of McVitie’s Iced Gems.
His presentation was akin to “Edward Scissorhands with a Spirograph”. True, he got two Hollywood handshakes, but only for supporting Liverpool FC. Sandi Toksvig was on good form, standing on a box to chat to easy-going basketball ace Ovie Soko.
She’s 4ft 11in, he’s 6ft 7in…easily the biggest star to come out of Love Island. If they ever dated she’d have to stand up to go down.
Nice guy Ovie finished third, with Louis – who you suspect had been training hard – a creditable second.
But Jenny was always going to win – she had the biggest cake-hole.
LUCY Beaumont, right, Meet The Richardsons (Dave)...The Walking Dead (Fox)...The Outsider finale (SkyAt).
DAVID Walliams, left, Sandylands (Gold) – hammier than a hog farm...Breeders (Sky1)... Dawn French’s Maggie Cole – as loveable as an agitated wasp swarm.
EVAN Davis still telling us what we’ve just seen on Dragons’ Den. Lips overpumped with filler – they don’t look sexy, they look daft. BBC4 repeating their rotten Till Death Do Us Part remake.
MATT Lucas is replacing Sandi Toksvig on Bake Off. One short, witty and cutely masculine...the other is Matt Lucas.
Matt eats cakes, samples biscuits and cracks jokes. Not sure what he’ll do on Bake Off.