Razor heads for It’s done Four the nearest bra
I WASN’T sure about that new Mitchell brother on Tuesday’s EastEnders. For starters, he was smiling. He’ll never fit in.
ELVIS And The Memphis Mafia. The Changin’ Times Of Ike White. Eric & Ernie in America. New Schitt’s Creek. Josie Gibson saying “yurt” on This Morning. Stevie Wonder: A Musical History.
TV MYSTERY: What’s going on with Ian Hislop’s hair on HIGNFY? It looks like the clippers ran out of power...like the series. His hair’s thinner than the humour.
TV QUESTION: Will ITV’s nude footballers stick it out for another year?
RAZOR Ruddock was back on Harry’s Heroes: Euro Having A Laugh – a stone heavier, and as graceful as a hippo in a tutu.
Booze-hound Neil is so fat now even his clothes have stretch marks.
Harry Redknapp and his England veterans were on a mission to beat the Germans again – this time in Bavaria.
But Razor was more interested in wearing his wife’s bra on his head and drinking like a Pogue.
It took recovering alcoholic Paul Merson to tell him that he was killing himself. Razor threatened to shove him through the door, but he later admitted Merse was right.
The next day he got the shock news he needed a pacemaker.
Let’s hope it’s not Shirley Carter... Serious messages about drink dependency and depression (Lee Hendrie) came wrapped in cheery banter and warm nostalgia.
It may have been over-staged, but there was something endearing about watching blokes being blokes. We rarely see men laughing and
Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP bantering on TV these days. That it came with football was a bonus.
The tortuous route took the ex-pros via Paris, for a chance to take on a team of nudists. “Quite hard in the tackle these boys,” joked likable Harry.
Nobody mentioned the heightened risk of handball...though one excited woman did tell me the French goalie “looked like a keeper”.
Then came Florence (who was map reading, Blind Pew?) to play a painful cross between mixed martial arts and rugby; followed by San Marino – “a lovely tax haven”, noted H. “My dog Rosie has just opened an account.”
With injuries mounting, things looked grim. But, as Harry said: “We are England and when the chips are down we come good.” Hendrie did, scoring the winner.
How about Gazza and “Psycho” Pearce next time? And maybe find a less clumsy title.
THE Last Dance, right (Netflix)... Harry’s Heroes... George Sewell, Special Branch (TPTV)... Gangs Of London (SkyAt)
JOHN Robins, left, The Darkness Of Robins (Netflix) – witless whinge-athon ...Eurovision: Shine A Light – nul points.
BBC inflicting Eurovision on us – despite it being axed – without the voting. That’s the one thing that makes it watchable. Twits on The Chase describing their wrong guesses as “educated”.
AN anagram of Piers Morgan is Mr Ego Pain. OK, there’s an “RS” left-over, but he’s that as well.