An unsuitably lethargic boy Tapping feat
WHAT an opener for A Suitable Boy! What a swirling kaleidoscope of colours!
It was like an explosion in Michael Portillo’s wardrobe.
If only the show had been that exciting. I’ve seen funeral processions move at a sprightlier pace. The “next week” trailer had more action than the first 50 minutes did.
What we have here is a glorified soap set against mounting tensions between Hindus and Muslims in postpartition India.
Sweet Hindu student Lata is pursued/stalked by Kabir, a secret Muslim – so a bit of Romeo & Juliet forbidden love.
Feckless man-child Maan beds Saeeda, a singing courtesan twice his age (Seedy boy shags Saeeda Bai...).
And Meenakshi, whose husband Arun gleefully fondles her boobs, is cheating on him with his friend Billy Irani. She also had his dad’s medals melted down for earrings.
The breast-kneading scene was inserted by adaptor Andrew Davies.
Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP
Knowing his work we can expect plenty more, um, insertions along the way.
The comedy comes from the rolypoly Raja, a charmless berk who can’t even sit down unaided, and bad-boy Maan, who pushes the Home Minister into a fountain – a scene genuinely inspired by TV’s Dynasty.
The heavy drama comes when Muslims protesting against a new Hindu temple are gunned down.
The series is based on Vikram Seth’s novel, which is not much thicker than an Indian elephant, and hard to condense into six hours. In fairness, it looks terrific.
But why exactly has the BBC spent £16million of our lolly on it? Surely not just so the self-loathing twerps can boast that it has no white actors? (Tsk, where’s the diversity now?)
Davies needs to raise the pace drastically and flesh out the characters to justify that big spend.
WILL we ever see Lata with Jools Holland?
THEY need a Geordie in the cast, if only to say “Calm down Maan, man.”
Shahana Goswami, A Suitable Boy… Ellen Thomas, right, In The Long Run... Zoe Kazan (The Plot Against America)
Fort Salem – more duffy than Buffy… Celebs Go Virtual Dating… Floor Is Lava, left – show is flawed.
ANVIL! The Story Of Anvil wouldn’t have happened without This Is Spinal Tap, and in parts it’s almost as funny.
The Canadian heavy metal band are 80s also-rans still attempting to make it big in their fifties.
“Everything on the tour went drastically wrong,” admits lead guitarist Steve “Lips” Kudlow. “But at least there was a tour for it to go wrong on.”
There’s a deliberate nod to Spinal Tap with a shot of an amp volume dial going up to 11. And an accidental one – Anvil’s drummer is Robb Reiner, while Tap was directed by Rob Reiner. Spooky.