‘I don’t want to bore my friends by talking about my leaky boobs!’
Presenter Ashley James on life as a new mum and what she’d like to say to the breastfeeding critics
We’ve always loved Ashley James for keeping it real, but since becoming a mum, the 33-year-old has taken things up a notch. From sharing pictures of her postpartum figure to breastfeeding selfies, there is nothing off limits for the DJ and presenter. And when we catch up with her to talk about Elvie’s new #TheRealFeed campaign, she says she’s “very on brand”.
“My boobs have leaked all over my T-shirt and I’ve got sick on my shoulder,” admits Ashley, who has a three-month-old son called Alfie Rivers with her boyfriend Tom Andrews.
Here, the former Made In Chelsea star talks about sticking it to the trolls, and how being a mum has made her relationship even better…
Hi Ashley! How’s life as a mum?
It’s crazy getting used to a new identity, but it feels like a miracle. You hear so much negativity around how your relationship suffers when you have children, but I’ve found the opposite. It’s so nice to see Tommy as a dad.There’s nothing sexier than seeing someone you love changing a nappy.
Did it feel isolating at times during this recent lockdown?
There were huge challenges and I did feel quite lonely. Tommy works in the day, but he’s at home if I need him. I just don’t feel like I had that interaction with other mums. I also don’t want to bore my friends by only talking about baby stuff.They don’t want to hear about my leaky boobs!
You said on Instagram that you felt like you’d lost yourself a bit since becoming a mum. How have you dealt with that?
Suddenly people only ask about you in the context of being a mum. Pre-pregnancy, I was Ashley the DJ, presenter and friend. And
I think lockdown heightened those feelings, as it felt like we couldn’t do anything. I guess you’re mourning your old identity as you form a new one. Tom’s so supportive, though. He’s my cheerleader.
You’ve previously said you were terrified to breastfeed in public. Have your feelings changed?
I was worried – especially when you have boobs bigger than your baby’s head – but now I’m like,“No, I have nothing to be ashamed of.” Sometimes Alf will start looking for the boob in the park, and Tom will say,“Shall we rush home?” and I’m like,“No, I’m going to feed here because he’s hungry.”I’m almost looking forward to
the day somebody tells me to go to the bathroom. I think it’s outrageous we’re expected to feed our children in a public loo! We need to stop seeing breastfeeding as something that needs to be covered up.
Has your friend Lucy Mecklenburgh been giving you any advice?
Loads! She’s the reason why I knew breastfeeding wasn’t smooth sailing. I’m moving close to her Essex home, so hopefully Alf and Roman will get to be little friends. She was one of the first people I told about being pregnant. She actually knew before Tommy!
Did you receive any negativity for saying you were initially disappointed when you found out you were expecting a boy?
Of course. Even when I said it, I said, “I know this is terrible.”But you can’t help your feelings and I know it’s quite common. But there are no regrets. If I’m lucky enough to have another baby and it’s a boy, I’ll also feel blessed, but do I hope to have a girl? Absolutely.
What would you like to do next with your career?
I feel lucky to be doing shows like Jeremy Vine and Good Morning Britain. I stood in for Richard Arnold as the showbiz reporter a couple of months ago, so doing more stuff like that would be amazing. I’d also love to be a panellist on Loose Women.
Tell us about supporting Elvie’s #TheRealFeed campaign…
I’m proud to be a part of it.
It’s easy to presume everyone has things together – especially when you’re not interacting with other mums. If you’re only seeing a polished Instagram version, it means there are other people sat at home like I am now, with breast milk all over me, wondering,“Am I a failure?”Elvie is recognising this and encouraging people to share a more #RealFeed.
‘I did feel quite lonely during lockdown’
Ashley is supporting Elvie’s #TheRealFeed campaign, which aims to show the realities of breastfeeding. For more information check out @elvie on Instagram and #TheRealFeed hashtag.