Orgy of pecs & bugs in castle

THURSDAY night and the air was thick with cries of: “Good tongue action!”

It wasn’t The L Word but I’m A Celebrity, where soap legends Simon Gregson and Adam Woodyatt were tackling their first challenge.

Finally, the limelight was off David Ginola!

Men who pressed pause when Myleene Klass showered, inset, were vile sexist pigs. But, naturally, it’s perfectly acceptable for women to drool over the French football legend.

When Ginola, right, took off his shirt on Tuesday, a million female jaws hit the floor.

Even Arlene Phillips gasped, “David is immense” – although how she could tell with his trousers on escapes me.

The format is beginning to feel tired. Gasp as people we don’t know chomp on cows’ arses and goats’ balls! Yawn as Naughty Boy drops a whole 10ft on a safety harness…

At least Snoochie Shy (no idea) put some effort in. Naughty Boy lost two tasks and wanted to quit. “I tried my best,” he told his team. Yeah, and Arlene’s had no Botox.

There’s no sexual chemistry yet. Although Snoochie did reveal she was “worried about bugs going up my vagina”. Is that Ant’s new nickname?

And Ginola surprised Arlene in the snake pit by announcing: “I’ve got my finger in the hole.”

Elsewhere, people were in tears after just two days. Ridiculous! Suck it up and sack your agent!

The show is informative though – who knew sheep testicles were as large and slippery as a prime minister?

But it just isn’t as good without the Aussie sun. We’re at home suffering a grim, freezing November looking at something even worse. No wonder viewing figures are tanking.

The big blow was losing Richard Madeley, who’d already gone head-first down a chute and survived a bombardment of fish guts.

Rich was robbed. So were we!