Shell-shocked by the price of eggs

A ROW between farmers and the supermarkets over soaring costs has sparked fears we could soon see egg shortages.

Industry chiefs have warned some suppliers could shut down production altogether.

Farms want all major supermarkets to raise the price of a dozen by 40p for free range and as much as 80p for organic, meaning some customers having to shell out £4.40 for a box.

I agree this story might have been better placed last weekend at Easter, but that’s eggsactly what you would have expected of me. So I thought I’d move the goalposts slightly and sit on the eggs before I laid this one.

I have also noticed that even our local cemetery has raised its prices – and they blamed it on the cost of living!

Yesterday, my pal Lenny was explaining to his kids how much rising prices are affecting him at the moment.

He told them that when he was a kid you could go to the shops with just a pound in your pocket and come back with enough food to feed the whole family for a week.

His kids said: “That’s called inflation, Dad.’”

Lenny’s answer was: “Nope, it’s all these bloody security cameras everywhere.” I guess you already know that the patron saint of security cameras is none other than St Francis of CCTV? When I was in Spain on holiday last summer I was chuffed to find an extremely positive, uplifting television channel in my hotel room.

Every programme made me exclaim “yes, yes”. It was Si Si TV.

The scariest moment I have ever endured linked to a security camera was when I stopped for a pee near a farm on a long journey, only to look up and realise that I wasn’t alone… If you have that recording, please delete me, thanks?