Fuel? Now we’re all taking a hike

MY children are going to have to get used to walking.

Drive? Forget it.

I’ve already told the family the car is for emergencies only.

Broken your leg? Unlucky, borrow your grandad’s walking stick and hobble to the hospital.

It now costs a fortune to fill the tank of the average family car, and I can feel my blood pressure rising as fast as the petrol gauge goes down on a quick trip to the shops.

And there’s not much point in getting a plane anywhere as the airports are more chaotic than a disaster movie.

What has our hapless Government done about it?

Effing sod all.

Angry? I’m fuming. As I bet most people are.

The only thing stopping Britons from taking to the streets with Molotov cocktails is the fact the petrol to fill up the bottles costs too much.

Get a bus? Don’t make me laugh. Bus services outside big towns and cities are as useful as family planning advice given to a young Boris Johnson.

How about a train? Are you on the wacky baccy? Even if you can afford the extortionate fares, there’s every chance that your journey will be scuppered by engineering works or a drivers’ strike.

And what have those running the show done about it?

You guessed it...

A bike is an option.

But if you’re not taken out by an articulated lorry, and you avoid a row with a Ronnie Pickering-style driver, inset (Don’t you know who he is?), you’re likely to do yourself a mischief by hitting a pothole.

No, walking is the future for the Ward family. Until someone figures out a way to tax our legs, it’s the cheapest and most hassle-free way to get around. It’s just a shambles that the other modes of transport have been made such a bloody mess.