‘Alcohol was taking over my whole life’
Reality star Vicky Pattison opens up about her moving new documentary and her relationship with her dad and booze
Vicky Pattison is bravely opening up about her childhood with her alcoholic dad, John.The 34-year-old, who found fame on Geordie Shore, talks about her fears of following in his footsteps in Channel 4 documentary Vicky Pattison: Alcohol, Dad And Me.
“I had everything I’d wanted and I still wasn’t happy. I was self-sabotaging with alcohol and I knew I was going to lose everything I’d worked for,”she says of drinking excessively after her I’m A Celeb win in 2015.
“I thought,‘If you don’t take control, you’re going to end up alone and like your dad,’ which has always been my greatest fear.”
Vicky – engaged to ex-TOWIE star Ercan Ramadan – admits she has an addictive personality but insists she’s working towards “finding that middle ground”. Here, she tells us more...
Hi, Vicky. Tell us a bit about your childhood...
I was really loved, my mum and dad were great parents, my dad was just ill. I’m really grateful for my parents, in particular my mum, who did a good job of shielding us from everything.
Did your relationship with your dad suffer due to his drinking?
I’ve always been very close to my dad, because I think I have more in common with him than I’d like. But there have been times when it was very difficult to love him. Anybody who has somebody in their life who struggles with addiction will know it’s very, very hard. Addiction isn’t pretty.
How
He has had to accept that once you’re an alcoholic, you’re always an alcoholic. He’s doing well but there are good days and bad days.
is your dad doing now?
What
I’ve always had a complicated relationship with alcohol. I have always been vXexrxyxxawxxaxrxe of my dad’s issues and xxxxx thought xxx I was
xxxxxxxxx
going to end up the same. Alcohol was starting to take over my life [after I’m A Celeb in 2015]. I wanted to find out more about the disease, to understand my dad better and break down the stigma about alcoholism.
made you want to open up?
You
Geordie Shore,
Did
found fame on which is all about partying. you have reservations about joining?
I was 21. At that age you’re blissfully ignorant and arrogant. It wasn’t until years later I understood the ramifications and that exposing myself to that could have exacerbated a destructive relationship with alcohol.
Do you feel like you have an addictive personality?
Definitely. If I’m going partying, I’m the last one standing. If I’m going to the gym, I’ll be there six days a week. I’ve always been all or nothing. But now, I know being the last one out will never bring me happiness. I also know being teetotal is not the thing for me. I’m working hard to find that middle ground because I know that’s where happiness is.
What is your relationship with alcohol like now?
I try to exercise mindful drinking. I enjoy everything in moderation. I have to be aware of who I am. I’m doing well but life’s not linear.
Vicky Pattison: Alcohol, Dad And Me, Tuesday, 10pm, Channel 4