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I’M sick of my family being rude to me.
My father is a control freak. My son treats me like his personal slave and my sister-in-law talks to me like I’m a fool.
My father calls at all hours of the day and night demanding food, medicines, lifts and favours.
If I dare to answer back, he shouts that my house is dirty, my food is horrible and I’m a terrible mum.
He’s a sulker and I always seem to end up apologising.
My sister-in-law thinks she’s better than me and now my son (15) has started to side with them against me.
I’m not a bad parent, but I often feel overwhelmed.
MY boyfriend openly flirts with other girls. He regularly makes me feel ugly and second rate.
He knows how much I resent him wolf-whistling, ogling and staring. Yet, any time I complain, he accuses me of having a sense of humour failure.
He says if I’ve got a problem with the way he behaves then I should make more of myself. My friends have branded him Captain Caveman and I don’t think they’re far off.
I hate feeling like this. I already spend a load of my money on sexy clothes and beauty treatments. But nothing I do is ever good enough for him.
Worry
We’ve been together over four years and I’ve got a horrible feeling that all love and respect for me has gone. We still have sex, but it’s not very exciting.
We go out two or three times a week, but I always have to call him. I constantly worry about how I can make him love and want me more.
I pay him compliments, but I’m fully aware he considers me a bit of a joke and a disappointment.
The other day I asked if I’m the best girl he’s ever been with and he said: “No”.
When pushed, he admitted his last four girlfriends were prettier, sexier and had better bodies.
At that point I just lost it and broke down in tears. I wanted him to hug me and say: “I’m sorry darling. I do love you really.”
But all he did was laugh at my red nose and the snot running down my chin. I asked him to give me a lift home, but he said he couldn’t because he was helping a mate to shift some furniture.
Later on I spotted pictures of him on social media in a nightclub in town. He had his arm around another girl. Why is he such a jerk?
JANE SAYS: Unless you start standing up for yourself, then your ungrateful, bullying family will carry on taking advantage and crushing your spirit.
Your son is your most important concern, but he needs to understand you’re in charge and you demand respect.
Tell him there are going to be significant changes in your home.
Then speak to your father and sister-in-law and make it clear you’ve had enough.
Tell your father he can no longer call you at any time making demands – and that you don’t to hear any more of his criticisms. He needs you more than you need him.
Equally, if your sister-in-law can’t say something nice, then perhaps she shouldn’t say anything at all.
The reality is that they WILL all respect you if you put your foot down hard enough. JANE SAYS: Someone needs to tell your boyfriend wolf-whistles and catcalls are considered a hate crime by certain people.
That aside, I really must ask you why you continue to put yourself through such unhappiness and aggravation. If your boyfriend can’t see you for the vital and beautiful person you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.
Life is just too short for these kinds of games.You’ve got to stop looking over your shoulder and start believing in yourself.
Accept the fact you are a young, healthy, beautiful woman and that he’s lucky to have you in his life. Hold your head high and be proud of who you are and what you have achieved.
If you boyfriend does say anything derogatory about your looks, then stick up for yourself. Make it clear you won’t accept being put down or disrespected.
Then there’s the problem of him openly ogling other women. You need to talk to him and tell him that you don’t like this behaviour. It’s insulting and rude.
Can he promise you that he’ll stop? Today?
Sadly, if he will not stop his childishness and you continue to feel unsure around him, then maybe you’ll have to admit that you’re just not suited any more.
My personal feeling is that he deserves the boot.