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MY brother is dating a woman who we all hate – and I can’t help thinking that he’s deliberately winding us up.
She’s an ex-stripper who once spent time in jail for shoplifting.
Her manner is brash, argumentative and aggressive. I’m scared of her.
He thinks she’s a laugh, but it’s not funny if they go to our parents’ house drunk.
At a barbecue she had clearly taken some strong drugs.
She was all over the place and I thought she was going to go for me. She’s always says exactly what she thinks – and she thinks I’m a snob.
I feel sorry for my parents who feel that they have no choice but to welcome her into their home.
MY boyfriend’s mum is the biggest show-off and spoilt brat that I have ever met.
She has to be the centre of attention and every conversation is about her – her health, her feelings, her enemies. Arrrgh!
Her last relationship finished in March after her ex-partner finally escaped. After months of moaning and moping about she’s now back in the saddle – and driving me crazy.
The problem is she thinks she can simply come out with my boyfriend and me any time she likes.
Disgrace
Every time we go to a club, bar or party, she tags along and gets outrageously drunk and shows us up. She dances like a fool, touches guys and gropes girls. The woman is a nightmare.
Recently my sister held a small, classy dinner for her daughter’s 18th birthday. My boyfriend’s ma wasn’t even invited but came along anyway. She drank two bottles of champagne and left her food because she claimed it was “disgusting” – it wasn’t.
To his credit my boyfriend told her she was a disgrace. But he has to be careful what he says because she subs him and he is desperate to inherit her large house.
I do love my boyfriend. He’s a lovely, kind fella who is great in bed, but I don’t know how much more of his appalling mother I can take.
At the moment he and I are talking about travelling to Thailand, Australia and New Zealand. But he’s just hinted she might insist on coming along too.
How do I gently tell her to get stuffed without her and my boyfriend falling out?
JANE SAYS: Your parents have to speak to your brother about this. Of course he’s entitled to date anyone he likes, but bringing a drunk or even druggedup individual into their home is just not on.
Speak to them and encourage them to stand up to your bro.
I expect you have to tread a fine line, because you don’t want to be accused of winding things up.
But you need to make it clear this woman will never be welcome in your home because you just don’t like her.
If your brother has always been a tricky character who likes to shake things up, then he may feel he’s being very clever by hanging around with her.
But he’s going to end up looking like a sad loser if, or when, she ruins his life. JANE SAYS: Surely your life is too precious for this level of grief and aggravation?
Clearly your boyfriend is in a difficult position. Even though she is annoying and embarrassing, he still loves him mum.
But on top of that he relies on her for favours. He can’t openly tell her to clear off because he’s under her thumb. The fact of the matter is she’s a selfish monster.
She’s vain and doesn’t care who she upsets. For her, it’s all about getting drunk, showing off and having a wild time – and she knows exactly what she’s doing.
Can you really be bothered with any of that?
Yes, your fella is a nice bloke, but he sounds pretty weak and ineffectual.
Why can’t he politely ask her to respect his relationship by giving both of you some space and privacy?
Maybe his mum is larger than life, but surely she must have some sober moments when she’s reasonable and approachable?
Talk to your boyfriend today and insist he stands up to her.
Make it clear that you can’t – and won’t – go on like this.
Unless he can guarantee you a grown-up relationship, without his revolting mum in tow, then you’ll have to review this situation.
You’re not being tricky or sniffy. You’re simply being honest because you’re fed up.
As for her joining you on any world trip, forget it. That idea has to be nipped in the bud right now.