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MY mother’s house is a dump. She’s a hoarder and has china knick-knacks and soft toys all over the place.

Recently I visited and was disgusted to find empty cardboard boxes in every room.

This is a new thing. She said she was keeping them for storage.

I tried to clear up but she accused me of interfering.

I feel so sorry for my aunt, who lives with her. She has to pick her way through piles of rubbish but can’t say anything because it’s my mother’s property.

I am seriously worried that my mum is losing it. How do I help when she is so resistant to change?

My younger sister won’t even go round there because she says it’s dangerous.

JANE SAYS: Work with your family in getting the professional help your mother needs.

The crux is that your mother is ill. Underneath it all, I can’t believe that she likes this terrible mess any more than you do but she’s trapped.

She may have a mental illness called hoarding disorder, and that’s something for a doctor to diagnose.

Often this is triggered by a traumatic event. Even if your mother has never admitted to such a thing, it could be that she is bottling something up.

Sadly, if she really won’t allow you and your sister to help her, you must speak to social services about the conditions your mother and aunt are living in.