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MY boss is a deeply unpleasant woman.
We’re both in relationships, but she has such a high selfopinion that she can’t understand why I don’t want to have an affair with her.
I’ve told her several times that I’m totally devoted to my girlfriend (we’re actually planning to get married and start a family) and won’t cheat on her.
But all she says in response is: “She doesn’t have to know.”
This tricky, crafty woman keeps dangling promotions, bonuses and pay rises in front of me in an effort to win me over.
Recently, during a team-building weekend away, she spent over an hour trying to get into my hotel room. I was literally standing behind the door begging her to go away and leave me alone.
Flipped
At first she was sweet and coy. She simpered that she wanted “a chat”. I said: “No, please go away.” She flipped out, started kicking the door and called me names.
Eventually her boss came walking along the corridor and she was forced to leave me alone. But I was genuinely scared and intimidated by her.
I later heard she’d found her way into another colleague’s room and proceeded to have sex with him all night, but constantly spoke about ME.
Apparently she was saying mad stuff about loving me.
My colleague even recorded her for a while on his phone and I’ve heard her gushing about how much she adores me and what she’d like to do to me in bed. My girlfriend would go spare if she had any idea this was going on.
My colleague is leaving the firm and thinks I should play this recording to my boss’s husband.
But I don’t know if I’ve got the nerve or if I want to get involved in anything so complicated and bonkers.
JANE SAYS: Your boss has to understand that you’re simply not interested in having an affair with her.
She can’t win every battle and she’s not going to win this one. She has to hear that you’re a man with your own mind and not her plaything.
Firstly, get a large diary and write down everything that has happened so far. Note key dates, places, events, conversations etc.
I urge you then to sit her down (with another witness present) and tell her that you find this game tiresome and insulting.
You’re in a relationship with someone you love very much and aren’t interested in having extra sex with anyone else in the world.
Then ask her, as a professional and a mature human being, to stop pestering you and to leave you alone.Tell her you respect her as a boss, but aren’t interested in taking your relationship any further than that.
If she threatens to blackmail you or give you the sack, then that takes things to whole new level.
At that point you’ll have to think about talking to her boss and/or your HR department.
Ultimately, do not allow yourself to be intimidated, because you’ve never encouraged any of this.
I don’t think you approach the husband with the recording, but do keep it for future reference.