I AM angry that a neighbour is taking advantage of my easy-going nature.
Back in September she noticed I was driving my children to school and asked if I’d take hers too. “No problem,” I said but now I feel totally lumbered.
Things have evolved to the point where she relies on me to pick up groceries and toiletries from the local retail park too.
The other morning both of my children were ill. Yet I still felt obliged to drive hers in despite her still being in her PJs as I picked them up.
A few times she’s been quite shirty when I’ve grabbed the wrong brands from the shop and she still owes me over £20 from before Christmas.
MY evil girl is playing with my mind.
And I just never know where I am with her.
One minute we’re loved up and happy, the next she’s distant and snappy.
She plays games. She asks me questions which she already knows the answers to.
Have I fixed the leaking tap? Have I paid the water bill? Spoken to the noisy neighbours?
Inevitably when I answer “no” she immediately starts having a go at me. She calls me lazy, uncaring and slow-witted. She accuses me of being selfish about things that need fixing in our relationship and around the house.
Then she starts on my manliness. Apparently I’m a disgrace because I don’t give her enough dirty sex.
She moans that I’m boring and complacent between the sheets and that all of her friends have a far more interesting time with their lovers.
If she’s to believed, they’re all having wild sex every night in every position imaginable.
I just can’t win. I try to be loving and romantic but she invariably throws my attempts back in my face.
Then, just when we’re at fever pitch – virtually throwing the crockery at each other – she laughs and starts to make up with me.
She purrs that she’s only joking and that she loves me really. She simply expects me to snap out of my fury and forgive her. Yes, the make-up sex is fantastic. But if I dare to sulk or to complain, even for one minute, she accuses me of being a spoilsport.
She simpers that I’m immature and hold a grudge. Not true. The reality is that, half the time, I don’t even know where I stand.
JANE SAYS: You only have so much energy and you cannot allow this tricky neighbour to wear you out.
She sounds like a bloodsucker to me.
Your loyalties are to your children, your partner and yourself.
Take a deep breath and calmly explain that you’ve over-stretched yourself.
Point out that things came to a head the other morning when you found yourself running around after her children, instead of staying at home with your own.
Apologise and make it clear that you won’t be able to help out again in future – and don’t you dare feel guilty for being honest.
Ultimately, its up to your neighbour to make her own arrangements. Her life is not your responsibility. JANE SAYS:Your girlfriend sounds a deeply irritating, tiresome individual.
She’s never happier than when she’s shaking things up and creating friction.
If she’s bored or unhappy in this relationship, then she needs to stop moaning and start talking about the future. Sit her down and ask her outright if she’s actually interested in spending any more time in your company.
OK, so you’re not perfect, but you’re not nasty or deliberately cruel either. You do try to do nice things for her.
The problem is that she can’t simply be allowed to carry on insulting and demoralising you.
If she has particular issues with you, then suggest she airs them so that you can strive to be a better partner in future.
But she also has to hear that she’s by no means perfect either. So what is she going to do to improve this miserable situation?
What about both of you making more of an effort in future with date nights and kind gestures?
Sadly, if you and she admit that you’re never going to make the other happy, then you both have to wake up and start thinking about where you both go from here.
No-one can survive a constant yo-yo of emotions. She may love the make-up sex, but if that’s all you have together, then that’s pretty sad.