K\ii`Ô\[ kf jXp @Ëm\ Y\\e Ôi\[
J\o kXcb `e ]ifek f] b`[j NFII@<; G8IKE<I N@CC >F =\Xi dp [Xk\Ëj X jkXcb\i
I DESPAIR of my horny dad. His new girlfriend is loud and revolting.
He brought her to my place. I hadn’t invited her and he didn’t warn me she was coming. She was quite horrible.
She drank too much, talked about sex in front of my children and then collapsed in my bathroom. My partner had to break the door down to get her out.
Now dad is talking about setting up a Spanish karaoke bar with her. It seems each new woman he introduces us to is worse than the last.
He says I’ve got to “make more of an effort”, because she’s a keeper. Why should I have to put up with this nonsense?
MY other half doesn’t realise that I’ve lost my highly-paid job.
She still thinks I’m a player in the world of high finance.
The reality is that I was made redundant after Christmas. I’m now helping out a mate on minimum wage.
I turn up at his place in my smart work clothes every morning, then I change into overalls and lug heavy goods around for eight hours.
Fortunately, he allows me to shower after my shift and then I go home again. He knows the truth and keeps telling me that I’m mad and that I can’t keep up this pretence for ever.
But how can I tell my blingobsessed babe that I’m no longer the successful guy she fell in love with?
Bleak
I keep applying for bank jobs, but no-one wants me. I used to be so confident and sure of my abilities, but my future has never seemed so bleak.
My girlfriend would be devastated to hear I’m on my knees. I have to confess I’ve been spinning her a few lines of late.
She thinks I’m working on a massive, top secret deal that is going to make my career.
Sometimes it’s just easier to tell her a big lie to shut her up.
She’s assuming that I’m going to get a massive bonus soon and is already mentally spending the cash on clothes, holidays and a new car.
I can’t even make love to her because I have no energy and no confidence. She says she understands that I’m under pressure at work. Ha! If only she knew the half of it.
Most nights I lie in bed and just feel sick. I know I can’t hide for ever. How do I even begin to tell her that I’m a failure?
I hate the thought of her being disappointed in me – or even leaving me for someone richer.
JANE SAYS: Your father is wrong. You shouldn’t be expected to put up with any old stranger he brings to your home.
Make it clear you want him to be happy and settled in a committed relationship, but you have standards and house rules.
Explain that his girlfriend was out of order last time and she’s not to behave like that again. It’s up to him to control her and if he can’t, then she’ll have to stay away.
He needs to know you have no intention of falling out with him, but he and his girlfriend have to be prepared to respect your space and meet you halfway.
You have children, standards and rules. If he wishes to fritter his cash away on a bar, then that’s up to him.
But he’s not to come crying to you when it all goes belly up. JANE SAYS: At least you’re working. At least you’re getting out of bed every day and earning an honest day’s wage.
Your girlfriend will be even more disappointed if she hears about these lies from someone else.You owe it to her to tell her the truth.
Being made redundant was nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to all sorts of people all the time. What’s more important now is looking forward.
If she truly loves you, then she’ll want to help you with fresh ideas and suggestions for a new start.
Sit her down today and come clean. Explain that things have been spiralling out of control.
You thought you could sort this out on your own, but now need help. Then put your heads together and work out a plan. In the worst case scenario, your girlfriend will hit the roof.
At that point, if you suspect she’s only with you for the free ride, then maybe you’ll need to look at this relationship again.
If she’s not willing to stick with you through the good times and the bad, then she can’t love you very much. Ultimately, you may decide that financial services weren’t for you and look for a different kind of career.
This is your chance to be anything you want to be. Seize this challenge with both hands.