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AS soon as our first child was born, I effectively lost my husband.
To him, everything is all about the kids. Our two are his world.
If he’s not taking them to football, karate or swimming, then they’re all playing golf.
I hardly see any of them at weekends and we no longer have a relationship, or even a family life.
A few weeks ago I complained about being the “drudge”; only good for shopping, cooking and cleaning muddy boots, so now my husband does all of that too.
He’s a man with tremendous energy, but very little regard for my feelings. How do I stop feeling undervalued and superfluous in my own home?
I MET my girlfriend online two years ago.
Several times I’ve asked her to take her profile down and give herself exclusively to me.
Only she won’t. She says she can’t kick the buzz that comes from dating strangers.
She invariably has sex with the guys she hooks up with which, to my mind, constitutes cheating.
She says she can’t help herself, because she’s got such a massive sex drive.
I’ve forgiven so much. I turned a blind eye when she went on holiday with two men and came back with love bites and genital warts.
I pretended not to notice when she went missing for three days because she was on a bender with a rich, married jerk.
Terrifying
People who care about me accuse her of disrespecting me.
They have never understood how I’ve allowed her to treat me so badly.
But the answer is love. I’ve always been so in love with her, that I’ve allowed her to do absolutely anything she wants. Up until now, that is. I never thought it would happen, but I’ve finally met – and fallen for – someone new.
This babe has blown my mind. The other night I tried to tell my regular girlfriend about her and she went nuts. Now she simply won’t accept that I fancy anyone more than her. Her ego is out of control. She’s saying that she won’t let me go – that I have to give her another chance and stay. If I don’t, then she’ll declare war and ruin my life. Every fibre in my body is telling me to walk away, but I’m scared because she’s terrifying when angry and such a force to be reckoned with.
JANE SAYS: If you can’t beat them, join them.
Be pro-active and prepared. Every time your husband and children pull their coats on, pull yours on too.
Go with them everywhere and be a part of the family.
Then when you and your husband are standing on the sideline or sitting by the pool, you can start talking again.
The fact of the matter is that your children aren’t going to be young forever.
In a few years they’ll want to start doing their own things, with their friends.
Where will your busy husband be then? It’s vital you reconnect with him, because you’re not simply his back-up plan.
Take up golf too, you might even enjoy it together. Ultimately, you cannot give up on your marriage without a good fight. JANE SAYS: The fact is that your selfish girlfriend has used and abused you all the time you’ve been together.
She’s always known how much you love and adore her, yet she’s carried on sleeping with other men right under your nose.
She hasn’t cared about your feelings, your confidence or your reputation – it’s all been about her, and her gargantuan ego, every step of the way. Now you’ve met someone new and she can’t quite believe that you’re daring to stand up for her.
Suddenly she’s hurt. She feels put out and miffed.
The heart bleeds. How dare she presume to threaten you?
As for ruining your life – don’t make me laugh. Surely she’s been doing that for the past couple of years anyway.
What joy or happiness have you ever really experienced by her side? She’s cheated and lied and never taken any responsibility for her actions. What I suggest you do now is grab this new chance for happiness with both hands.
Tell your new girl that you’d like to take things further and put as much distance between yourself and your cheating long-term partner as possible.
Let her shout and scream as much as she likes – she’s an awful individual whichever way you look at it.
If she’s so adamant to continue online dating, then tell her to fill her boots because you’re now out of here.