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I CAN’T believe the amount of time my boyfriend spends masturbating.
He’s currently staying with me while he looks for a new flat.
But I’ve noticed that he sneaks off to the bedroom several times a day on top of us making love each morning and often at night too.
He says he’s got a high sex drive and needs to relieve himself for the sake of his sanity.
If he doesn’t have a spot of “DIY” then he feels ill. But it’s starting to make me feel ill, especially when he sticks his laptop under his arm and tells me not to disturb him.
I know he wants to move in full-time but the more I see (and hear) of him, the less I like him.
When I’m single, I sometimes masturbate too but his level of activity is something else.
A COMPLETE stranger is blaming me for her marriage breaking up.
I’ve never even met the woman or had sex with her husband, yet she is calling me all the names under the sun for ruining her life.
I’ve had her on the phone crying and complaining to me half a dozen times.
From what I can make out she and her bloke are getting divorced and it’s all my fault.
Apparently her husband used to work at my parents’ pub.
I grew up in a boozer in the centre of town and from an early age I helped out collecting glasses and tidying up. Loads of people worked for us.
Obsessed
Some stayed for months; others were with us for years. I can’t even remember this particular man but it seems he worked for my parents one summer when I was 17 – and he fell madly in love with me.
I wouldn’t have noticed him because I was obsessed with my best friend’s brother. But it seems this mystery man has never forgotten me and he has carried a torch for me all this time.
He was obsessed with me for a summer and those feelings have never gone away. If anything, he’s more passionate about me now and feels he can’t continue his five-year marriage.
His wife says he is following me on Facebook and plays songs from “our” era all the time.
I can’t tell you how unwelcome this information is. I feel so sorry for this woman, but don’t accept that any of this is my fault. I’ve asked her to leave me alone, but now she wants me to talk some sense into her husband.
She feels that if he hears the truth from me – that I don’t love him – then he’ll go back to her.
How do I get through to her that I really don’t want to be involved in any of this?
JANE SAYS: Maybe you should be thankful that you’ve had this little taster of co-habiting.
Now you know it would be hell to live with your fella full-time.
There is no way of measuring what’s normal when it comes to masturbating. Some people do it once a month and others have more pressing needs.
The bottom line is that this is your home and your boyfriend is a guest.
If you think that constantly sneaking up to your bedroom is disrespectful, then that’s your prerogative.
I suspect that this relationship will run out of steam once he eventually moves out. JANE SAYS: This poor woman is on the brink of losing everything.
Naturally, she is doing anything she can think of to fix this, but you really need to get tough. You have to explain to her that this is nothing to do with you and you are not prepared to speak to your ex-colleague.
Tell her you don’t want to receive any more phone calls and warn her that you now feel that you are being harassed and stalked and are not willing to put up with it.
Make it clear that you will go to a solicitor, or even to the police, if she troubles you again.
As for your former colleague, you must not feel sorry for him or guilty about anything that is going on in his personal life.
You know that you and he never had any kind of romance. If he adored you from afar, then that was his business.
You certainly did nothing to encourage him or give him false hope.
Perhaps the marriage to his wife was never right.
Maybe he has mental issues or is going through a mid-life crisis right now.
For all you know he could simply be using your name as an excuse because he is actually having an affair with someone else or is not willing to be honest about his true sexuality.