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NO matter what I do I always get rejected.
I’m a 27-year-old man and have never had a girlfriend.
I’ve tried being friends first, hooking up with strangers at a bar, and I have even joined community groups in the hopes of meeting that special someone.
It’s got to the point of me thinking: “Why bother?”
Last year, one of the girls in our circle started showing interest.
We became close and shared a few drunken kisses.
Then she admitted that she had feelings for someone else.
I was fine with it, I figured she would never do anything about it.
But the guy did ask her out and she is now with him. It felt like my heart had been put through a shredder.
Am I even worthy of companionship or love? How do I come back from that?
MY late partner’s greedy children won’t leave me alone.
They’re always on at me for money, support and favours.
Despite being adults – they’re 25 and 28 – they think nothing of sticking the begging bowl under my nose at any time of day or night.
My other half died suddenly in September 2015 and, naturally, I was devastated.
I organised the funeral, cleared her flat and dealt with her mountains of paperwork.
What did they do? Absolutely nothing except to ask for her jewellery, clothes and cash.
Furious
She left me a decent amount of money in her will, which the “kids” are still furious about.
I wouldn’t mind if we had a civil relationship, but we don’t. They despise me as much as I loathe them.
Although I keep telling them it’s time for them to grow up and make their own way in the world, they won’t leave me alone.
I was only with their mother for five years so it’s not as if I was ever a real stepfather to them.
Their real dad is still alive and only lives a couple of streets away, yet it’s me they badger.
They come up with shameless stories regarding debts, sick children and the bailiffs.
The daughter recently pretended that she “might” have cancer like her mother in order to rinse me of £5,000 for a trip to a private clinic in London.
It simply took me one phone call, to her grandmother, to discover that the whole story was a cynical lie.
Later she tried to cover her tracks by saying it was a “precaution”, but what a wicked thing to do.
My sister actually believes that they’re now stalking and harassing me and that I should consider reporting them to the police.
How can I resolve this problem amicably?
JANE SAYS: There’s no getting away from the fact that you have tried to find love.
Is there anyone you could talk to about your manner, your approach and even how you look?
What about a sister, female cousin or discreet colleague?
If you’re coming across as shy, needy, nervous or unfriendly then what dating tricks could you adopt?
Take courtship off the menu for the time being while you concentrate on your self-esteem, image and the art of flirting.
You’re still young, so don’t lose heart. Come back stronger. JANE SAYS: Your adult stepchildren sound like increasingly desperate individuals. Of course they’ve been devastated by the sudden death of their mother.
They’re still young and no-one could blame them for being angry and resentful, but you didn’t cause their mother’s death and if she named you in her will, then her money is now yours to spend.
If things aren’t going well for them in their personal lives, if work is scarce and money is tight, then, I suppose, you’re an obvious target.
It’s possible that bitterness and anger are now eating away at them and you’ve become a symbol of everything that is wrong in their lives and a figure of loathing. Why don’t you call a family meeting in order to clear the air once and for all?
Explain that you understand their pain, but you did everything for their mother while she was alive and after her death.
They should check out Cruse (cruse.org.uk) regarding bereavement care.
If they really won’t back off, then maybe the police will have to be informed and an official complaint will have to be made.
But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that and it’s a last resort.