FAREWELL TO THE KING OF GAFFES
THE Duke is perhaps best known for his legendary gaffes. Here are some of his most famous... “What do you gargle with, pebbles?” To singer Sir Tom Jones in 1969. “I declare this thing open, whatever it is.” On a visit to Canada in 1969.
“Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.” During the recession in 1981.
“If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” At a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting.
“It looks like a tart’s bedroom.” On plans for the Duke and Duchess of York’s house at Sunninghill Park in 1988. “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?” To a Scottish driving instructor in 1995. “I would get arrested if I unzipped that dress.” To council worker Hannah Jackson in Bromley, Kent, in 2012.
“Do you still throw spears at each
other?” To a successful Aborigine entrepreneur in Australia in 2002.
“Yak, yak, yak; come on, get a move
on.” Shouted to the Queen from the deck of Britannia in Belize in 1994.
“It looks as if it was put in by an Indian.” Pointing at an old-fashioned fusebox in a factory near Edinburgh in 1999.
“If you are near there, no wonder you
are deaf.” To young deaf people in Cardiff, referring to a school’s steel band in 1999.
“There’s a lot of your family in tonight.” After looking at the name badge of businessman Atul Patel at a Palace reception for British Indians in 2009. “You ARE a woman, aren’t you?” After accepting a small gift from a local woman in Kenya in 1984.
“If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.” To British students in China during the 1986 state visit.
“Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.” When asked to stroke a koala in Australia in 1992.
“You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.” To a Brit in Hungary in 1993.
“You managed not to get eaten, then?” To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea in 1998. “I wish he’d turn the microphone off.” Muttered at 2001 Royal Variety Performance as he watched Sir Elton John perform.
“Do you know they’re now producing
eating dogs for anorexics?” To a blind woman outside Exeter Cathedral in 2002.
“Well, you didn’t design your beard too
well, did you?” To designer Stephen Judge about his tiny goatee in 2009.
“If the man had succeeded in abducting Anne, she would have given him a hell of a time while in captivity.” On a gunman who tried to kidnap the Princess Royal in 1974.
“The Philippines must be half empty as you’re all here running the NHS.” Meeting a nurse at a Luton hospital in 2013.
“How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?” Meeting a mobility scooter user in 2012.
“Children go to school because their parents don’t want them in the house.” To education campaigner Malala Yousafzai, who the Taliban shot in the head, in 2013. “Just take the f***ing picture.” Losing patience with a photographer at a Battle of Britain anniversary event in 2015.
“It’s a pleasant change to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.” To Paraguay dictator Alfredo Stroessner in 1963. “I’m just a bloody amoeba.” On the Queen’s decision that their children should be called Windsor, not Mountbatten.
“If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she’s not interested.” On Princess Anne.
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” On marriage.
“Where did you get that hat?” Supposedly to the Queen at her Coronation.