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I’VE just persuaded lucky Mrs Motormouth to measure my height.
Well she only went and deducted half an inch because I was wearing my slippers. Bit harsh, I thought.
Anyway the result is that I can no longer claim to be 5ft 7½, which I have done for the past 21 years. I’m now only 5ft 7in.
Why does height matter to you, Hobbit features? I hear you say. Well it doesn’t normally but this week I’ve been driving around in a mighty Mercedes GLC.
It’s one of those cars that dwarves like me drive because it makes them feel big. Hey man, I’m in a big car so get out of my way before I crush you.
Problem
And guess what? The Merc GLC convinces you that you’re some kind of colossus from the moment you try to get in the thing.
I don’t think I’ve ever had so much of a problem trying to get in and out of a car. Even a TVR, or a Caterham, was a walk in the park compared to this giant.
Now I know what you’re thinking. It’s that my lack of height coupled with the fact that the Merc’s seats are bound to be much higher than a normal car would make things awkward, but you’d be wrong. I’ve just measured the height of the actual bit you sit on and it’s just 2ft 2in above my sumptuous drive fit for a king. So that’s not a problem.
Anyway even if I had needed steps to help me get in, Merc had fitted the GLC Coupé with a quaint pair of oldfashioned devices called running boards. They were extremely glitzy with their shiny alloy finish and big rubber studs but they made the car even more difficult to get inside.
That’s because they stuck out four inches making it a longer stretch to enter the car, while, if you actually stood on them you ended up with a great view of the roof and a downwards Your motoring questions answered by the experts www.parkers.co.uk as the S-Max, but still comes with a decent list of standard equipment in SE BlueMotion Technology spec.
This includes air-con, DAB digital radio, automatic headlights plus front twist to somehow get in. I set the car’s electric steering wheel to its highest point and lowered the electric seats but just squeezing your legs between the steering wheel and the seat top was almost impossible.
Easy
I swear to you, I’ve spent a whole week trying to find an easy way to get seated and it doesn’t exist.
Still, once you finally get inside the GLC Coupé it seems well worth the struggle. The interior is a fabulous mix of high-quality instruments, lots of silver and piano black, white double-stitched soft-touch trim and leather seats. It’s beautiful. Rear seat and rear parking sensors. While the 115hp 1.6-litre turbodiesel engine may not be the quickest, it returns an impressive 65.7mpg and attracts just £30 in annual road tax.
Last but not least is a Citroen Grand C4 Picasso. We’ve found a delivery-mileage 2016-model finished in high-end Flair spec and featuring a massive selection of standard equipment.
This includes a 12-inch panoramic digital dashboard display, a 7-inch central touchscreen including satnav, Bluetooth, Apple CarPlay/Android Auto, a panoramic sunroof and dualzone climate control.
Fuel economy is also deeply impressive, returning a claimed average of 72.4mpg from the 120hp 1.6-litre turbodiesel engine.
Acceleration is similar to that of the Touran at 11.2 seconds to 60mph, while road tax is more impressive still at just £20 a year. Yours for £20,000. PRICE (on the road): £43,695. Range: £41,220 – £54,145. MPG: 138mph; passengers get stacks of leg room but the sloping coupé-style roofline leaves less height as it gets nearer to the boot and tall passengers could struggle for headroom, or so I’m told.
To add to that, the tunnel for its fourwheel-drive system interferes with leg room in the centre of the car.
This makes it difficult for anyone unlucky enough to find themselves sitting in the middle. I’d call it a fourseater with a fifth slot for short trips.
The boot is an impressive three feet deep but stretches to six feet once the back seats are folded flat making the GLC Coupé not just a good looking luxury car, but a practical one, too.
Driving the car can be almost anything CO2: 34. you want, due to its nine-speed auto box and a choice of five driving modes from “Comfort” to “Sport+”.
On its softest setting it feels like a lavish limo while Sport+ converts it to a slick sprinter which contradicts its 15ft 5in length and 1,845kg weight.
Rival
That’s because there’s a massive 500Nm (370lb) of torque to play with.
If you’re looking for a serious rival to the BMW X4, the GLC Coupé is definitely its main competitor. All you’ve got to do is learn how to get in and out with some degree of comfort.
Oh, and don’t go for those running boards, however tempting they look.